So, on date #9, brainy blonde and I gave each other one question to answer (at the end of our date – of course, there were questions throughout) – mine was spontaneous (‘what’s your last name?’ Ha, well, I was curious!) and after much pondering, BB was more thoughtful in his approach (he’s a thinker, I like it!) and finally, after a few minutes of pondering, said, “so, your profile notes that you ‘know what you want’ and you’ve said that a couple times during our discussion…so, what DO you want?”
Silence.
Good question.
What do I want?
For someone that does talk about what I want (or, what I DON’T want, I guess, is really what I’ve learned, mostly?), it was difficult for me to articulate! Right now, I still can’t quite articulate what I want – in life, in dating, in everything – I just know what it “is” in my head. Is that normal? I mean, I know, in a relationship, I want someone outgoing, and willing to try new things, new places, and just be easy-going and willing to go with the flow. I want someone who respects me, is romantic (I never really thought about romance, until one of my sisters noted that she can’t really ever remember Pete being romantic…and after she said it, I saw it too. Wow, I guess I don’t really know what romance feels like!), and is driven. And in life, I want freedom, and to have fun, and to have the ability to weave in what inspires me, into my daily life (working out, being active etc., – check that off the list with Group Kick training coming!), and to be excited to see that significant other, and have my heart skip a beat whenever I see them.
Well, I guess I am articulating it now, in a sense, aren’t I? It still feels wishy-washy, but I guess that’s what emotions and what you want “feelings-wise” is – wishy-washy, airy-fairy, not something you can objectify necessarily.
So, that’s me, what I want, in a meandering, wishy-washy, airy-fairy way. Nothing concrete, a lot of “to be determined” going on, but in my heart, I know what I want, and I WILL get it. It’s just a matter of time, right?
November 10, 2009 at 10:55 am
Is it normal? Yes, about 50000000% normal.
November 10, 2009 at 11:18 am
Haha – thanks – glad I’m “normal”
November 10, 2009 at 11:46 am
Wow, I’m liking #9 more and more.
November 10, 2009 at 1:50 pm
Did you tell him what you wanted, and what was his response, you left us on the edge of a cliff here!
November 10, 2009 at 2:00 pm
LOL – yes I sort of told him, but not all that eloquently
He thought it was a fair enough response 
November 10, 2009 at 6:35 pm
*eeeek!* <—shrill girl scream of excitement for you!!!
Great post! I do agree with the end of your post, you do know in your heart what you want. No concrete list can capture that! However, it is good to know some of the basic aspects that you will/will not stand for. Sounds like you have a grasp! =)
November 10, 2009 at 8:25 pm
Thank you Student Mama! Glad you liked the post, and I guess it is okay, to just know parts of what I want and figure out the rest as I go!
January 13, 2010 at 7:37 pm
[...] don’t really know WHAT I want. It’s ironic that this came up with boy #9 on our first date (in hindsight!), and I need to really think about it, and list out the qualities I want [...]