There’s GOT to be somebody out there for me.

I know it, I feel it, but sometimes I wonder where it is, when it will happen and if I truly believe that. The lyrics to “Gotta be Somebody“ by Nickelback drilled those wonders, thoughts (fears?) and hope on my drive home tonight and I thought those lyrics (below) would be the perfect backdrop for tonight’s post.

WHAT DO I WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP!?

I tossed and turned last night, and my brain wouldn’t shut off. I kept thinking, I kept wondering, I kept feeling anxious, and then I realized…I don’t really know WHAT I want. It’s ironic that this came up with boy #9 on our first date (in hindsight!), and I need to really think about it, and list out the qualities I want (physical and emotion) not only in a man, but in a relationship.

I know some of them, at the surface, which I’ll list out here, but I plan to keep thinking about it more, and really identify a list of what I want, including some make-or-break qualities (thanks, T, for the suggestion, and to everyone for their wonderful, uplifting and very thoughtful comments last night. It truly got me through the day today) that I won’t compromise. It feels like a tall order, to articulate what I want, I don’t know why. It feels so broad, yet so specific. How is that possible?!

Anyway, here goes, my short list:

  1. Someone smart. I don’t necessarily mean “book smart” either, just smart. About where they’ve taken their life, being thoughtful in their approach and words.
  2. Someone that adores me. And someone that I adore. I want to feel that love, attraction and passion for them from my toes to my nose. I crave that.
  3. Someone that “gets” what I do for a living. That might sound silly, but I never quite thought Pete completely understood my job. Sure, PR is sort of tough to “get” as most people think it’s advertising, or marketing, but it’s neither of those. It just made me feel like he didn’t care enough to know what occupied my day 40+ hours a week.
  4. Someone that is fit and works out. Bonus points if you LIKE to work out. Okay, perhaps a tall order, but for me, I need someone that shares that passion, at least a little bit. It’s a huge part of who I am.
  5. Someone that values their family and friends and wants ME to be a part of that. I always felt like an outsider with my in-laws (many, many factors went into that, none of which I feel the need to get into here!), and I want to have a good relationship with my partner’s family. I love my family, and am close with them and want to share them with a significant other, and vice versa.
  6. Someone romantic, that knows that a card “just because” or making me dinner on a whim means more than just romance. It shows they love, they care, that I am a priority in their life. (and vice versa, I want someone in my life that I want to do the same things for!)
  7. “Compatible” religious viewpoints. I say compatible, because while I am a Christian (Protestant/Congregational), there are certainly religious that are similar enough that it wouldn’t be an issue with a lot of head-butting. I think having some level of religion or faith in your life is important. I’m not looking for extreme ends of either spectrum, just compatibility.
  8. Don’t be a cat hater. Seriously. I love my cats as if they were my children. You don’t have to love them, just don’t have an extreme aversion to them ;-)

So, there you have it, my initial list. I know some of them are wishy-washy, and still aren’t that specific, but I’m getting there. I need to think about it, really take a look at the men that have been in my life in the past, and “audit” my dating life. What did I like? What didn’t I like? Stay tuned for that.

~~

“Gotta be Somebody” lyrics – they’re spot-on for me today, aren’t they?

This time, I wonder what it feels like
To find the one in this life
The one we all dream of, but dreams just aren’t enough
So I’ll be waiting for the real thing; I’ll know it by the feeling
The moment when we’re meeting
Will play out like a scene, straight off the silver screen

So I’ll be holding my own breath, right up ’til the end
Until that moment when I find the one that I’ll spend forever with

‘Cause nobody wants to be the last one there
‘Cause everyone wants to feel like someone cares
Someone to love with my life in their hands
There’s gotta be somebody for me like that
‘Cause nobody wants to go it on their own
And everyone wants to know they’re not alone
There’s somebody else that feels the same somewhere
There’s gotta be somebody for me out there

Tonight, out on the street; out in the moonlight
And, damn it, this feels too right
It’s just like déjà vu; me, standing here with you

So I’ll be holding my breath, could this be the end?
Is it that moment when I find the one that I’ll spend forever with?

‘Cause nobody wants to be the last one there
‘Cause everyone wants to feel like someone cares
Someone to love with my life in their hands
There’s gotta be somebody for me like that
‘Cause nobody wants to go it on their own
And everyone wants to know they’re not alone
There’s somebody else that feels the same somewhere
There’s gotta be somebody for me out there

Ooh, you can’t give up (when you’re looking for)
A diamond in the rough (because you never know)
When it shows up, (make sure you’re holding on)
‘Cause it could be the one, the one you’re waiting on

‘Cause nobody wants to be the last one there
And everyone wants to feel like someone cares
Someone to love with my life in their hands
There’s gotta be somebody for me, oh…

Nobody wants to go it on their own
And everyone wants to know they’re not alone
There’s somebody else that feels the same somewhere
There’s gotta be somebody for me out there

Nobody wants to be the last one there (when you’re looking for)
‘Cause everyone wants to feel like someone cares (because you never know)
There’s somebody else that feels the same somewhere (make sure you’re holding on)
There’s gotta be somebody for me out there.

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