Reason #173 why I’m an “improved” version of myself since my divorce – I reamed out the cable guy today.

I know what you’re probably thinking – “huh?”

Well, in my pre-divorce days, I was sort of a wuss. Plain and simple.

Anytime there was confrontation involved, I stepped back and let Pete drive the show. Case in point – billing sqabbles with cable companies (etc)? Pete did it.  I was happy as pie sitting back in my Libra-esque non-confrontational ways, but enjoying the outcome (settled billing issue, reduced monthly bill or whatever the case may be).

Fast forward to today… 1 1/2 years after Pete decided to leave the marriage (wow, almost exactly 1 1/2 years to the day – October 31) and I reamed out the cable guy – me - the improved and somewhat redefined (in more ways than one?!) Jolene. Woo – freakin – hoo!!

Despite still seething from the dumbasses that apparently work at said cable company (rhymes with Bombast – as if that’s even a word…), I feel a certain level of pride and triumph at putting on my mean face, giving the ridiculous customer service rep some serious ‘tude for their stupidity, and driving to conclusion. For your amusement, here’s a quick recap of how the conversation went with Bombast customer service:

Me: Hi, I’m calling because my home Internet isn’t working and I’d like it fixed.

Bombast: It appears you are 59 days late in paying your bill.

Me: Um, it came out my account on April 15, so that is incorrect.

Bombast: It’s not showing here. So you need to pay that amount before we can turn it back on.

Me: But I PAID IT on April 15, I am staring at my Internet banking as we speak and it says I paid on April 15.

Bombast: Hold please.

Insert ridiculous hold music here. They could at least make it more fun and play some top 40 hits. hey, I’d even take country over elevator music (no offense country fans!).

Bombast: Okay, you need to fax the proof of payment to this number and we will evaluate the payment error.

Me: Okay, so if I fax this in, who do I call to make sure my Internet is back tonight. I really need it to get some work done.

Bombast: There’s actually nobody you can call…the claim has to be evaluated and approved or denied.

Me: Um, I need to talk to someone, this is unacceptable, payment came out on April 15! I need my Internet back TODAY.

Bombast: Hold please.

MORE RIDICULOUS MUSIC!

Bombast: Okay, you have an extension to make payment until Friday, we’ll cancel the disconnection.

Me: BUT I PAID ALREADY! It came out of my account, I am faxing it now.

Bombast: And when did you pay that?

Me: APRIL 15!

Bombast: OH, I see what happened. It takes 3-4 business days to come out of your account.

Me: But today is Wednesday, that IS four business days.

Bombast: It takes 3-5 business days, so tomorrow.

Me: You said 3-4 business days.

Bombast: No, I didn’t, I said 3-5.

Me: No, you didn’t, but regardless I need my Internet back tonight. I am faxing this over now. When can I call back to confirm?

Bombast: Tomorrow.

Me: Goodbye (there was some more ridiculous back and forth but you get the gist).

SERIOUSLY?! And, to top it off, I looked closer at my online banking and apparently I had my old account number still set up and my new one (from the house before I moved) and I applied the payment to the old one – YET IT STILL CAME OUT OF MY ACCOUNT! I checked with Pete to make sure it didn’t credit HIS account and it hadn’t, because his account number changed when he moved as well, as I suspected.

So, the money…where did it go?! Some ghostly Bombast bank account where they’re profiting off poor saps like me screwing up where I sent my payment to? Time will tell, and I’m ready to put up a fight if they do NOT restore my Internet this evening.

Hope you enjoyed my humorous take on a ridiculous conversation with a ridiculous cable company…and I’m going to bask in the glow of my inner badass for taking them on (hey, it’s the little things, and if I want to feel badass, I’m going to feel badass in my own way, mmk?) ;-)