Two people that can’t make a decision.
Look! It’s the first thing I’ve identified that is something that I know Doctor Boy and I will have to work on together. Simply put, we are both 100% Libras through and through that we love compromise *almost* as much as we love each other, and I think that could eventually be something that could be problematic.
And I don’t say that in the sense that it’ll be some huge make-or-break, but just that it could be something we will have to work through, so we both are happy, but not bending so much to the other for the sake of compromise.
A small example of that happened today.
He asked if I would be free to meet his parents for lunch tomorrow (we are going to a wine event tomorrow night in Boston with some friends and my sister, a detail worth noting for this story, and hey, it’s going to be a blast!). And knowing that the drive to where lunch is and getting back in time to get ready for the evening, I was stressing about trying to jam it all in.
So he said I didn’t have to, there would be another time.
But then I asked him but what do YOU want me to do?
And he said, “whatever works is fine, either tomorrow or during Thanksgiving. I don’t want you to be stressed about getting back in time for the evening.”
Now, we went back and forth like this all afternoon. “I’ll try to make it work, I want to meet your parents, and I know you would do it for me.”
Sort of like that question of “what do you want to do?” “I dunno, what do you want to do?” that never ending cycle of niceties. (and despite my feeling selfish for even considering *not* meeting his parents tomorrow, he still told me how much it means to him that I even want to, and that I am trying to make it work regardless. Swoon.)
It was a pretty humorous afternoon of back and forth, to the point of, “really, are we really overcomplicating this that much?” and we settled on a plan that works to fit it all in. But it struck me – it’s something that will probably come up in the future, and as I learned in my (former) marriage, I never want to “not fight” if that means resolution and communication. And what I mean by that is – healthy fighting (arguing) is just that – healthy. And when you never fight, issues grow, and deepen and become so massive that it becomes counter-productive and damaging.
I feel good realizing this now, and learning that sometimes our best qualities…compromise, willingness, balance, can sometimes be inadvertently negative.
(and part of me wonders if my initial hesitation to jam everything into one day for the sake of meeting his parents has something to do with my past rocky relationship with my ex in-laws…a post for another time, something I will ruminate on…).
Regardless, I’m looking forward to yet another weekend of friends, family and Doctor Boy and I hope you all have a great weekend (and consider my post yesterday as my ‘Quote Friday’ – tonight’s post was too timely to put off!).