Is learning that being alone is okay.
That being independent is phenomenal.
That ultimately, I don’t *need* a man to be happy.
(so says she, now that she *has* a man.)
I know, that may be what some of you may be thinking. But truly, this year was a struggle with myself in terms of realizing that I need to release, let go, and it will happen (even though I *did* get sick of hearing this). And in the meantime, I can completely enjoy my life, for me, and nobody else.
And I did.
I think I met Doctor Boy at exactly the right time in my life, and in the year, because I firmly believe I needed to struggle through that in-between of wanting to be in a relationship and finding love, while also wanting to sustain my independence and life I’d built for myself. At the time I met Doctor Boy, I had finally released my mind from wanting to find love so badly and I think that really did help me. It helped me see the potential sitting in front of me, and in the time that had lapsed from my last quasi-relationship with CBE, I had my firm list of dealbreakers and dealmakers in mind, and knew that I wanted to keep my life as ‘mine’ as possible while also letting in love.
It’s still a struggle every single day, to be honest, in keeping the balance I want, while also releasing some of that routine that I don’t always need to keep and just enjoying the man – and the life – in front of me.
But I’m proud. Of how far I’ve come, in this second year post-marriage, learning to be “okay” with being alone and ultimately finding someone so special to share in the life I’ve built for myself. It’s been quite a year. And I won’t spend one day not realizing how blessed I am. I know it, appreciate it, and love it.
What are you most proud of this year?
~~
If you only knew what the future holds, after a hurricane comes a rainbow…maybe you’re reason why all the doors are closed, so you can open one that leads you to the perfect road…
December 19, 2010 at 5:54 pm
Girl you have so much to be proud of. I also think you are spot on about meeting Doctor Boy at just the right time. You had to find yourself before you could find THE relationship. I am so truly happy for you and can’t wait to meet him!
December 19, 2010 at 7:03 pm
Thank you so much! I’m so glad you’ve been part of the journey, and that we met this year! And I can’t wait for you to meet him too
December 19, 2010 at 8:33 pm
I’m so proud of you sis, for all the reasons you describe. You’ve come so far in the last two years but especially far this past year. You’ve come into your own (without sounding totally cheesy) and are truly content and settled with who you are. And that is just awesome. Love it!
December 20, 2010 at 10:01 am
thank you sister, means so much. I am content, that’s a great way of putting it. Absolutely.
December 19, 2010 at 11:05 pm
funny how the right kind of man shows you that you don’t NEED a man to be yourself? that’s kind of how i feel about how my relationship with the man came to pass. he loves the parts of me that stand independent, that make me who i am on my own. that in turn makes me want to build on it, encourage it.
sometimes it’s so hard to say, “y’know, i really am OK.” but once you do, it’s LIBERATING.
December 20, 2010 at 10:02 am
YES! That’s exactly it – the right man shows you (or validates for you) that you don’t need a man, you just want one…that man, to be specific! Liberation feels so good!
December 20, 2010 at 7:38 am
You’ve got so much to be proud of and I have to give you credit for creating a wonderful blog and a new blog in the works! I think I’m most proud of being consistent with my fitness workouts this year and learning a lot more about fitness, I feel I’m pushing myself to the next level with Cathe’s dvds and especially with STS. I’m also proud of how I’ve been patient and calm in some difficult situations in work and in home life.
December 20, 2010 at 10:05 am
thank you so much!! Your list of accomplishments are awesome. Don’t you love STS?! I started meso 3 today and loved the heavy weights (usually I dread that phase for some reason).
December 20, 2010 at 7:39 am
I’ve been watching this growth for so long. And we were on such similar paths. I had two kids I had to stay strong for, but you had to do it just for you. You did. So glad I’ve had the chance to share in your journey.
One day we shall meet. One day…
In the meantime, sending huge victory hugs your way!
December 20, 2010 at 10:05 am
thank you my friend, one of my very first good bloggy friends, I do believe. You have been there every post of the way, and I cherish that! We SHALL meet, I promise!! a must!!
December 20, 2010 at 9:28 am
Great post…and great realization! I think it’s really hard for people to balance keeping themselves while being in a relationship…it’s easy to get lost in the shuffle.
What I’m most proud of this year? I think that would have to be starting my 401K and taking on more financial responsibility in my relationship. Being financially responsible for my future is a really good feeling.
December 20, 2010 at 10:06 am
It is hard to keep true to yourself in a relationship and unless you start that way from the beginning, it’s hard to climb out of. I’m glad to be where I am right now, absolutely. And good for you for the financial responsibility…it’s hard, especially in this economy, so the more you can do early, the better, right?
December 20, 2010 at 11:42 am
Great post! I am most proud of having had to courage to finally seek this divorce that should have happened 10 years ago. The day I served my soon-to-be ex divorce papers, I slept better than I had the whole year up until then! I am much more contented now–even though it isn’t done.
December 20, 2010 at 2:26 pm
thank you! I am so glad you made that decision for you, as it seems to already be the best decision you’ve made! Awesome.
December 20, 2010 at 11:45 am
You do have so much to be proud of. You are one of the most positive, inspiring people that I have ever “met.”
And I have no doubt that given the healthy place that you are in, that your choices and relationship will reflect that and that you will continue to find the balance between “you” and “your relationship” that you are looking for.
December 20, 2010 at 2:27 pm
Aw shucks, thank you so much!! I really appreciate that, so much. And while I am realistic in knowing that I will still need to work on this whole balance thing, it’s starting to slowly come together. I love that.
December 20, 2010 at 1:43 pm
You HAVE come so far. There’s a lot for you to be proud of. I’m struggling through where you’ve already been. I agree that’s it’s necessary. I learn from you!
As for me…I’m proud of myself for letting go when I knew all was lost. So very hard, but so very necessary.
December 20, 2010 at 2:28 pm
Another one – wow, thank you so much!! You’re the best. I can tell you are at a similar place I was, last year/part of this year, but you are totally coming through, I can feel it. you are doing great!!
December 20, 2010 at 11:35 pm
yeah you hit the nail on the head. Balance is the key. I think it means we’ve grown up…
December 21, 2010 at 9:06 am
You’re right, it does
December 21, 2010 at 1:55 pm
Amen, sister. I don’t know who I would be or where I would be without my friends. No matter how far away they are, they’re my family – and they are not subject to change, regardless of how my life, and their lives, do. Period.
December 21, 2010 at 2:00 pm
thanks for visiting! You’re right, love that last line “not subject to change”
December 23, 2010 at 11:09 pm
You should be proud of yourself! I think of 2010 as my year of letting go. It feels good
.
December 24, 2010 at 11:37 am
Thank you! Yes, I agree, it seems that was your theme this year. So glad!