Taking a vaca alone – kinda sorta.

Okay, so maybe I’m stretching it just a wee bit – but I am on the about to take my self-proclaimed “epic” mini-vaca to visit my BDF in Florida – and I am calling this my kinda-sorta-solo-trip (per one of my new year’s resolutions as part of the “year of me!”), because I’ve never taken a trip by myself to visit a friend, or towards a vacation. I’ve always been with someone.

Whether that “someone” has been my ex-husband (btw, a few of my friends “in real life” noticed I’ve started referring to Pete as my ex-husband – have I really not referred to him that way often before? I guess I truly hadn’t noticed!), my sister, my family, or friends, generally, I’ve always been with someone.

Sure, I’ve taken business trips by myself, but those have been few and far in between, basically, and taking a trip “alone” for personal reasons and not work reasons somehow just feels different.

I’m excited and really looking forward to spending some time with BDF (aka Amy), one of my closest friends (yet, ironically, living so far away!), particularly since my divorce started. I know I’ve blogged a lot about how our relationship has grown, but I am truly blessed to have her in my life. She is a wonderful, true, honest, and devoted friend, and really, what more can you ask for, right?

And, of course, it helps that we share a past – both going through divorce – that bonds us even more. We’ve been friends since middle school, and have lots to “look back on” but also plenty of the “here and now” to discuss – CBE, her upcoming wedding, catching up on each other’s lives that we don’t get to chat about all too often on a regular basis.

And, her fiancee is fantastic and I’m looking forward to seeing him too – though I think by the end of the trip, he’s going to see a whole new side to us that perhaps he hadn’t expected (they stayed with me overnight last fall, but just one night, not several…we have just a wee bit longer to cause mischief, drink lots and lots of wine, and cause general havoc – heh.) Watch out It’s going to be epic!

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I’ll have a post set up for Quote Friday – of course – and also have a guest post teed up from Travis at A Culminating Life – it’s a goodie – so, enjoy! And, if you want to do a guest post for me…I am all ears, and I, of course, am happy to reciprocate! Happy week/weekend everyone!

 

Taking stock of my resolutions

I know it’s just shy of three months into the new year, but on my drive home today, I began to think of some of my resolutions for the year, and if I’m staying true to my word on any of them yet.

Which one jumped right out at me?

Continue being uncomfortable. Um, hello, CBE and “out of my comfort zone” – how weird is that?! Now that I’ve gone on a couple of dates with him, though, and talked to him quite a bit on the phone and over email, I’m realizing that it is already feeling less and less “unchartered” and more and more an interesting part of my journey that I’m excited to see where it lands me. He’s very thoughtful, has a politeness/chivalry to him (not “old fashioned” really, just a stand-up kind of guy, so far, anyway) and well, attentive.

This is probably the first time I haven’t felt like I’ve had to drive things forward as in dates past. It feels pretty balanced, and I dig that. I know where I stand as well, which is something that has frustrated me with other dating excursions, and maybe that’s a maturity thing, or just his (and my) ability and wish to be upfront and honest. It’s refreshing. So, while it is still feeling somewhat “out of my comfort zone” – it is feeling more and more comfortable. If that makes any sense?

In re-reading my resolutions, I also realized that there is one resolution I didn’t add, but typically add it each year, because I just can’t get past it. What is it? Taking a compliment!

I’m horrible at it. I’ve mentioned this before, but I actually can’t believe I didn’t make it a resolution this year. I bring this up because I’ve fallen into the same bad habit of brushing off some pretty nice compliments this week and got so annoyed with myself afterwards.

For example, my hairdresser said I looked skinny and “great” this weekend – that made my DAY, it really did. But what did I say? I sort of thanked her, but waved my arm, like “who, me? Nah!” I don’t know that I’ve actually lost weight, but with all of the working out I have been doing lately, in addition to Group Kick class and practice, I do feel like I’m gaining tone and muscle, but still, regardless, I should have just been gracious, thanked her, and let it “make my day.”

Why is it so hard to just take them in?! Maybe it’s a woman thing.

And CBE. He’s just complimentary all over the place and what do I do? Sort of blush and smile, but don’t really say much…maybe I say thank you, I don’t even remember, because I tend to brush it off so fast (silly!)! This happened with boy #9 too, and I guess I’m just not used to it, but it is something I still have trouble with, it’s a terribly bad habit and in a way, I bet it can come across as ungracious or standoffish, which is exactly the opposite of what I want!

So, I guess I’m adding that BACK to my resolutions list. And I need to get cracking on these – man – I have to get back into running to do that half marathon (1-2 times a week at most ain’t cutting it!), the vacation alone is calling my name, as is really updating my blog and getting my own domain going, among the rest on the list. I know, it’s only February, but I’m totally serious about reaching all of these goals this year.

So, maybe call me an overachiever. It’s who I am

 

My “full circle decade”

It struck me this morning that as we near the end of a decade, the sigficance, for me, is far more than “just” a decade passing.

What’s happened in ten years? A “full circle” of significance for me…let’s recap, shall we?

The 2000′s meant quite a few milestones in life, and with Pete…

• Meeting Pete (at 20)
• Turning 21
• Graduating college
• Buying a house (with Pete) at 26
• Marrying Pete at 27
• Separation at 29
• Selling my house…at 30.
• Divorcing…at 30.

In ten years, I’ve only been with one man, and now, as the end of the decade ends, I’ve added another ten to that number (and let me clarify “been” with – meaning, dating, relationships etc) – how interesting is that comparison? There are tens all over the place for me right now, and as we enter 2010, I’m looking forward to it being the year of me untethered by divorce, redefined by ME, not by divorce (as a label…because, let’s face it, it’s been the elephant in the room much of the year, whereever I have been, part of the conversation at some point, which is to be expected, but it will be waning until it is no longer!).

While 2009 felt as though it was the year of redefinition for me, 2010 will be about rediscovering myself, instead, as an ongoing journey, because isn’t that what life is really all about? Rediscovery is not something that ends, it is an iterative process, something that lives and breathes with you constantly, So, instead of redefining, I’m looking forward to continuing to rediscover myself – my wants, my challenges, my weaknesses, my interests, my fears – and chronicalling them here, as often as possible.

I’ll likely be posting some resolutions for 2010 in the next day or two and I say “likely” because I’m not quite sure what those are quite yet…but I hope to grasp some thoughts on that shortly, and share them with you, and document them so I can revisit them next December.

While the 2000′s have been my “full circle decade” – what has it meant to you? Isn’t it interesting to look back at ten years and compare who you were then, to who you are now?

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You may have noticed…I changed my header picture – this is a picture from a trip to Cape Cod on the weekend following my divorce court date. It was one of the best weekends of this past year, and this picture, to me, signifies life, a journey, and hope for the future.

I also *finally* updated my blog header to “3o-something” from “almost” 30-something (guess that was warranted, huh?!) and changed “redefining” to rediscovering – because that’s what 2010 is all about!!