One of my friends commented on a recent post of mine and mentioned the term “starter marriage” – and I have to admit, I’ve never heard that term before! So I looked it up and is it weird that it’s even in Wikipedia?! I also found this article, that talks about the concept in a bit more detail, based on the book “The Starter Marriage and the Future of Matrimony.” Here’s an interesting excerpt:

44936According to the 2002 book, “The Starter Marriage and the Future of Matrimony,” starter marriages are most common among Generation X. Although they are marrying later than their parents, the divorce rate among them is just as high as the generation before. The difference now, according the book’s author, Patricia Paul, is that starter marriages are often seen like starter homes: You know that you’ll soon outgrow it and need an upgrade.

While I don’t really like the term itself, I can ALMOST relate to it – on the level of “outgrowing” a relationship. I think maybe eventually I would have felt that way…but I don’t know that I would have realized it or done anything about it. We met when I was 20, Pete was 19, and that just seems SO young to be with someone forever. Not that there is anything wrong with that, necessarily, but if you are in a relationship where one person grows (in this case, I think that person was me) and the other is more stunted and just stays the same (in this case, Pete), there eventually may be an outgrowing phase. And, don’t get me wrong, Pete wasn’t immature, but I think he could have branched out more earlier in our relationship, and didn’t. Sort of fell in step with my life and then that’s where we collectively settled. I too, eventually just went with the status quo, and there you go…outgrowth (is that a word?!).

Interesting concept…to say the least.

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