No, not me – don’t worry – never second thoughts on whether divorce is right for us, in my opinion (even though it wasn’t my decision, I firmly believe it was best for both of us). I had an interesting conversation with Pete last night…backing up, he was over on Sunday and he was teasing me again about CSB so I let on about CSBGF and he seemed to feel bad, and I got a little teary just because I was just all over the place that day emotionally (as we know!).
So, yesterday, he had a weird Facebook status update about how “It takes only a min to get a crush on someone, an hour to like someone, and a day to love someone, but it takes a lifetime to forget someone” so I asked him what he meant (over text) and he said “I’ll never forget you.” So I wrote back “huh? I’m not going anywhere.” He writes back “I’m a bit sad, I feel bad for what I am doing to you. I’m sorry.”
So I gave him a call and we talked for awhile. He felt bad that he’s putting me through divorce and I explained that he’s not (at this point) “putting me through” anything – I’m doing good, I’m happy. And he explained that he felt bad about putting me through the dating thing all over again – thought that was kind of odd/ironic/funny but whatever – and admitted that HE didn’t think he really wanted to date anymore and that it’s easier to be alone. It was a strange conversation, but it did get me thinking, in a way, if he was having second thoughts (again, not that I would consider it!)…or was ridden with guilt and regret (likely).
But I did admit this to him – I don’t think I could have gotten through things so far without his support – as IRONIC AND WEIRD AS I REALIZE THAT SOUNDS! It has actually been good that we have been able to be friends through all of this. I explained it to one of my (very awesome) divorced friends and how our friendship has really gone through phases – we don’t really get together for dinner much anymore or talk that often (every few days, not every day, sometimes just once a week) and I’m okay with that. And I know when the divorce is final that we won’t have a ton of reasons to talk, and again, that’s okay with me. I know our friendship will evolve as we go on. I feel I am very realistic with our relationship at this point.