July 2009


Happy Friday everyone! This post is dedicated to my grandfather – it’s a quote he’s said and it was posted during the 60th anniversary party this past weekend and I absolutely love it

“You have all the powers you never dreamed of. You can do things you thought you could never do. There are no limitations in what you can do except the limitations in your own mind as you what you cannot do. Don’t think you cannot. Think you can.”

My grandfather (both of my grandparents, actually) is very wise, he’s well-spoken, and he knows exactly what to say, and how to say it, simply, but with purpose. This quote is so inspirational, without going over the top, without being overly sappy, and it’s just very motivating. It’s something I need to keep in mind (maybe I’ll print it out and post it on my laptop!), not limit myself, but push myself farther and not see limits, to see there aren’t boundaries, and I can do it if I put my mind to it.

This situation over the last 9 months (9 months today actually – it was Halloween night that everything went downhill…fitting holiday I suppose – lol) has proven that I CAN do it, but I’d be kidding myself if I thought I could do it, and I’d be kidding myself if I thought I’d never be tested again, because I know I will. The difference this time? I KNOW I can do it, no matter how hard.

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One of my closest friends said that to me recently, and ya know…it really does sum up life, doesn’t it?  This week has sort of felt like an interesting twist in the obstacle course of life…I enjoyed a wonderful 60th anniversary celebration for my fantastic grandparents, experienced one of my good friends officially get divorced, I went on my very first date in 10 years (and actually liked it!), I hosted a little shindig for said divorced friend last night to glance back and look forward, and, I’m inching closer and closer to my own final divorce proceedings (if only Pete’s lawyer would freaking call him to come in to sign the papers that have been in her office for TWO WEEKS!!). And tomorrow? I kick off a fantastically fun Cathe Road Trip – basically a three day fit camp of FUN (you’ll see me and one of my sister’s in this clip from last year)!!! It’s been a great week and it’s not even Friday yet 😉

So, I say, put your helmets on and race towards that obstacle course…ya never know what’s around the next corner!

I’ll plan to post up my Quote Friday tomorrow, and then skip Saturday, and post a recap of the Road Trip on Sunday – hold yourselves, I know you are just on the edges of your seats in anticipation 😉

As promised, here are some details on date #1 – the first in a decade for me (as I’ve mentioned probably a million times by now!). It was a really good time. We had great conversation, it wasn’t awkward at all, and though he wasn’t supremely attractive, there is something about him that I find attractive. He’s very nice, he’s driven, and he knows what he wants out of life, which I dig. He gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek when we said our goodbyes (and suggested I pick a place for another night out – so I suppose that’s an invite, right??) – I think he sort of wussed out on a real kiss, but that’s okay (though I would have probably been open to it, just to see what kind of attraction there might have been).

After I left, I felt this huge sense of accomplishment and elation…because I did this, I went out, I had fun, I was outgoing and it was a huge rush of adrenalin! I’m really glad I am getting out of comfort zone in a huge way, and I’m looking forward to more dates, more fun, and learning more about what I’m looking for in the next guy I go for…I know what I want, basically, of course, but I’m trying to also keep an open mind (not that I’ve ever really had a type, anyway, to be honest), and see what happens.

All in all, it is a relief to get the first date over with, since I was supremely nervous ALL DAY yesterday! I’m sure I’ll be nervous for future dates, but at least now I know I can do it, and I’m not a huge wimp 😉

Sooo…my first date in oh, a DECADE starts in about 2 1/2 hours so I figured I’d post a quick blog beforehand. I won’t lie, I am freaking out a little, just such a foreign concept to me to be going on a date. But, I am looking forward to an experience and going in with no expectations. That sounds awful, but I am not holding high or low expectations because I really don’t know what will happen, and am realistic enough to realize that this may just be a one-time thing with this guy, or it could turn into a few dates or many – who knows. I am in it for the experience, first and foremost, and everything from there is gravy, right??

Look for a post tomorrow dishing on all the deets of date #1!! 😉 Wish me luck!!

So, as I mentioned in a post last week, a good friend of mine officially got divorced (the post said Friday, but it was actually today – my bad) today, and I am utterly inspired by her. She has gone through hell and back through this process – about a zillion times worse than me, and she has come out of this so amazingly strong, and headstrong, and so hopeful for the future. I

saw her this morning just after it was finalized, and she looked vibrant and happy and yes, a little shaken, just given the finality of what just happened, but she was a brand new woman. For someone that has been in an unhappy marriage for as long as she has (at least 5 years), while dealing with trying to remain as amicable as possible with her ex (believe me – NOT an easy task!!) and transitioning her two young children to a new home and juggling a crazy job, she has come out of this stronger than I have ever seen. She is resilient, she is strong, and she is one of the bravest people I know.

THIS is what makes me write this blog – experiencing friends (and even just seeing others via their blogs go through similar discoveries) come out stronger on the other side. Inspiring others that it is possible to start fresh, no matter how old, no matter how long the marriage was, no matter if children are involved or not. I’m proud to be part of a group of women (and men) that have gone through such a heart- and gut-wrenching journey as divorce, and proving happiness is possible, moving on is possible and finding love again is most definitely possible.

Closing out this post with a phrase this amazing woman said today:

I’m not afraid…will stand strong, so bring it!!!! Go ahead and bring it, because I will be standing here with both my feet planted firmly just waiting…

Enough said. Bring it girl, bring it!!!!

different things to a lot of people. I’ve been ruminating on this topic in my mind for  a little while now and just so happened to come across a cluster of blogs on this very topic so I thought it’d be a fitting post for this fine Sunday evening. Wrapping up yet another great weekend and looking forward to the week ahead (hi – date on Tuesday – eek!!) and weekend (trip to NJ – for this wonderful event – separate blog on this later!).

So, what is happiness? A few different items I read capture it nicely:

From aDivorcedWoman: I’m most happy when I know I can tackle anything life has to deal me. When I’m not judging a life situation as good or bad but doable.

From MyRamblings: Happiness is a choice. I firmly believe this, however, there IS a catch. Choosing happiness does not mean you will suddenly and miraculously be happy, always and forever. Once I make the CHOICE to be happy, I must then gather the resources, tools and experience necessary to be happy. When storms come along (i.e. loss of job, death, divorce or perhaps just a really crappy day), I must decide how to weather them. Will I plug along through the storm, will I find shelter and wait for the storm to pass, try to find a way around it or will I give up and make the choice to be unhappy.

For me? Happiness means feeling content with your situation – no matter what. It’s realizing that being unhappy or anxious or stressed out, or any of those feelings that make you UNhappy aren’t really worth it – because where do they get you? A whole lot of nowhere, just um, unhappy! So, I am happy…life has it’s ups and downs and bumps and bruises along the way, but that’s what makes it life and what makes us each stronger. For me, I’d rather find any piece of happiness I can in a crappy day, or when I’m in a bad mood, to give me that kick in the pants of perspective that it could ALWAYS be worse. Always.

So, with that said, I’m going to enjoy the rest of my weekend, not stress about the work-week ahead (or my date! lol!) and be happy. Try it sometime, why don’t ya? It works!

Today was my grandparents’ 60th wedding anniversary celebration and it was truly an amazing time. I was expecting to to be filled with laughter and memories, but it really reached a more powerful level for me…my grandparents are amazing and have been such a support system for me most recently, and to see their love, and their life they built together 60 years ago through today was just magical.

There was a slideshow of their days together leading up to their marriage, having their children, and the various homes they lived in. There were pictures of my grandfather with his father, and extended family that I have never met (or, don’t remember meeting as we were likely too young to remember), and it was just so great to see a relationship weather 60 years and still be going strong.

I am truly inspired and touched to have such an amazing family. Today meant even that much more to me as I try as hard as possible to cherish the time I have with my family – particularly my grandparents, given how much I am missing my Nonna these days – that time spent together is priceless and I drank it in today. They seemed to have such a great time too, and were so happy to see their friends and family, and for that, I’m really happy too. I am lucky to have such great family, and will never, ever take that for granted.

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