Stumbled across another divorce blog I’m starting to follow (my blogroll is filling up – a good thing, since it’s been very difficult finding good, inspirational divorce blogs!!) called I am Divorced Not Dead (love the title BTW) and found a very good recent post today. It was about a recent family visit with her “un-divorced” siblings and thoughts on their lives versus hers (having less “things” if you will). As I too have two “un-divorced” siblings, this one struck me.

Here’s an excerpt:

The other day I visited my younger brother’s house.  And as I stood outside this brand new, 5000-square foot mansion with SUVs parked out front, my jaw was dragging on the driveway.

As for my sister and her family, they aren’t here – they live in Australia.  But I know they’re on a three-day sojourn at their holiday property in Western Australia, something they’ve accumulated alongside revenue properties.

I’m not writing any of this to sound materialistic.  And please don’t think that I’m jealous.  I’m not only happy that my siblings are living so comfortably, I’m proud of them for all their hard work…and for holding their marriages together.

But as the only divorced sibling, I can’t help but feel a bit ummmm…. ‘different’ than the pack right now.  It’s not that THEY’re saying or doing anything to cause this.  It all comes from me.  It’s me realizing how different my life circumstances are than theirs.  And it’s a reminder that if MY family dream had held together, the external trimmings of my life would well have ressembled theirs.

It’s funny, because I could say the same for my family. I am SO happy I have two loving, wonderful sisters (and conversely, two wonderful brother-in-laws!) and that they have successful, happy marriages and homes etc., but once in awhile I do think about it a little and get a tad discouraged that I’m sort of starting over. I have had (past tense almost…) a wonderful home for the past 4+ years, a refinished bathroom, pool and yard but will waving goodbye to it as soon as it sells (short sale) and moving into my first-ever apartment.

While it *could* very well feel discouraging, I am trying to take this as a fresh start and realize that I will – for the first time – truly be on my own, with a place that is MINE, not still feeling like “ours” and a place I can decorate as girlie and fun as I want and hopefully, also save some money for a future home.

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