August 2009


Maybe I shouldn’t blog about my match.com charades…because I keep jinxing myself ๐Ÿ˜‰ Sooo, I was supposed to see match.com boy #3 today (he emailed me last night), and then this morning, I get another email that he met someone on Saturday and has changed his mind about our date, after all. I mean, I appreciate the honesty, but he could have told me that last night.

So, I was feeling sort of down in the dumps, like, jeesh, I can’t even GET to date #1, never mind date #2 with any of these boys! And I haven’t heard back from boy #5 (we were supposed to meet last week and he canceled due to a late work meeting, or so he says), he isn’t returning my text or email and I finally called him tonight. So, I am about to call the time of death on that one!

If you are keeping score, that makes me 0 for 2 today (not to mention 0 for 2 on the first two boys on date #2 for either of them!), and I hadn’t heard from boy #4, the one I realllly like, who suggested this Wednesday (email from LAST Wednesday) and I hadn’t heard from him reconfirming for Wednesday, so I sent a last ditch email to him, and surprise, surprise, we ARE on for Wednesday, so I feel better now. Let’s hope I don’t jinx that one too ๐Ÿ˜‰

In other news, I have been emailing daily – pretty much all day – with my longtime ex-boyfriend from high school…and don’t get any ideas, because it’s all friendly, but it feels as thought 12 years hasn’t passed at all. I’m really enjoying catching up with him, and we may meet up after work some night for a drink. Hard to believe we’ve lived a city apart for at least 5 years and never crossed paths. Oh, the wonders of Facebook. I was lamenting that I’m surprised how natural it feels to be bantering back and forth, and he asked if I expected a different reaction. I told him that I wasn’t sure how he’d react – an ex-girlfriend reaches out on Facebook after 12 years…a little weird, right? In all honesty, he just popped up as a “friend I might know” on Facebook, so I sent a friend request, not really thinking much of it, and then we started emailing. I asked him if he would have sent me a request if I hadn’t, and he said yes, definitely. So, I guess it’s all water under the bridge after 12 years. I mean, I would hope so, we are all adults here ๐Ÿ˜‰ (even though, for the record, he broke up with ME…twice. But I don’t hold grudges. Clearly, since I give my soon-to-be-ex-husband dating advice, right??)

Okay, this is a long rambling post, but that’s what shenanigans with boys usually are, right?

Wow. A month from today I will be on the cusp of moving out of my house and into my new townhouse I am renting. Not only that, but I have quite a few milestones coming in the next month or so, it’s sort of all just hitting me now. Let’s list them out, shall we?

  • 9/11/09: D-Day: Wow, I’ll be divorced in two weeks. Sad, excited for the future, all wrapped in one (and, my first EVER trip to the Cape with friends just so happens to be that day. I’m blessed with such good friends and family!)
  • 10/1/09: Moving Day! It’s hard to believe I’ll be moving out of a house I’ve lived in for just shy of five years. I can barely remember much before that – went from living at home with my mom, to owning a home with my then-boyfriend.
  • 10/2/09 (TBC): House closing. I don’t want to jinx it, but if all goes according to plan, we’ll have sold the house by this date, or soon thereafter. A relief and a blessing, to say the least.
  • 10/6/09: drum roll please – I turn 30!!! Of all the milestones, this one freaks me out just a smidge – I mean, 30, really?? In all seriousness, the timing couldn’t be better. I’m starting my life anew as I turn 30, couldn’t have timed it better if I tried (guess I’ll have to change my blog sub-head to “thirty something…” – I don’t like the sound of that yet! ha!)
  • 10/8/09: WINE COUNTRY!!! What a way to cap off the next two months than with a birthday gift to myself to Sonoma and Napa – the quintessential wine country. A trip I will surely never forget.

So, there you have it. A laundry list of milestones all scrunched together in 6 weeks or so. I’m going to take it one step at a time, breathe it all in, and cherish all the changes and new beginnings that are sure to come.

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On a side note – check out this list of the 63 best divorce blogs. I found some goodies (and added to my blogroll) and notice a few of those I already follow (congrats!!) –ย  Quest for T, Single Mom Seeking – on the list. Guess there are quite a few more divorce blogs out there than I thought. Way, way, cool.

Yes, I know, another dating-related post. Can you tell this match.com thing is on my mind a lot? Mostly it’s on my mind because I am having a great time with it, and meeting new people feels so novel to me for some reason. I was reviewing some more match.com matches today and was looking through profiles and seeing what people were interested in, in a relationship and it occurred to me, that in a way, I am not really sure WHAT I want. I mean, I know, basically, what I want, but it’s not like I have extremely set parameters either. And, that could be good, or it could lead me on a few wild goose chases, but isn’t that part of what this is all about?

So, I reviewed my profile and decided to update it a bit. And was at a loss for words. I didn’t want to update it with anything too trite or typical so it would get glossed over, but in all honesty, I didn’t know what to write! I eventually found my words and refocused my profile a bit and found some common themes in what I want – respect (I had it, with Pete, but I don’t think equality was there 100% of the time), drive (Pete used to be more driven, but never finished his degree, and I was always afraid if he got laid off, we’d be in financial trouble. Not to say having a degree is a make or break for me, because it’s not, but I find something really attractive in someone that has a strong career, a degree of some kind, and is a thinker. I like thinkers), happiness (never good to have a cynical guy IMHO!), being active (as you know, I LOVE to work out and I don’t think I could deal with a guy that was a bump on a log. And, if they push me towards new activities and sports, heck, even better!) and having a good relationship with their family (I just think this is always very important).

So, I guess I DO know what I want, generally. So, it was a good exercise in sitting back on this rainy Saturday and really thinking about it. And, if you’re wondering why I’m updating my match.com profile, yes, there are a few guys in the hopper at the moment, but I don’t have set dates with them yet, so I’m not putting all my eggs into #4, 5, or 6, baskets…nor do I think I should ๐Ÿ˜‰

Back to my lazy Saturday…kind of nice to have a dreary day to catch up on things, relax, take a nap, and gear up for a fun girls night ahead.

As I write this, I am feeling an overwhelming sense of emotion – of relief, happiness and hope that everything truly will be okay – because I got the official letter from the mortgage company that they have APPROVED the short sale payoff that my real estate agent submitted on our behalf. The biggest hurdle is out of the way, and to top it off, my real estate agent has also told us he has a buyer, so basically, the house is thisclose to being sold, and I can move out, move on, and charge forward with my life, wherever it takes me.

So, with that said, my quote today comes from my Nonna, one of the wisest, sweetest, most loving women I have ever know. I’m convinced I’ll never know someone like her, ever.

In Italian:

“era escrito cosi il libro del destino”

In English:

“look in the sky.ย  whatever is written in the book of destiny, you can’t change.”

How beautiful is that? So simple, yet exactly what I am feeling right now. While it is extremely frustrating and maddening that I am forced to sell a home that, when we bought it in 2005, appeared to be a good investment, but almost four years later, has bottomed out in value to just about HALF of what we paid, on the flip side, I am accepting it as what is “meant” to be and tackling it, so I CAN move on and forward away from what my life was, towards what my life IS now. And that feels incredible. I can’t even put it into words. This is my destiny, I am following my path to a “T”ย  the way I want it, and that feels amazing.

Happy Friday all, and kiss and hug your family, because life is too short. I still miss my Nonna every single day, and you can never get back those special moments.

I LOVE to work out…I know, I know, that sounds crazy. I always have liked working out, but since “the situation” began, I sort of threw myself into working out more and more. Partially because, sure, the benefit of working out (better body, not going to complain about those kinds of benefits!), but also because it felt soothing to my soul. And let me explain that…because it sounds more “airy fairy” that I mean it to, in all seriousness.

Whenever I was/am feeling down, or stressed, or upset, working out has a way of relieving that. Whether it’s running it off, spinning it out, or sweating it out DVD style (weights, step, kickbox, the list goes on) to my absolute hands-down fitness idol Cathe Friedrich, I always feel more focused, centered, and in some cases, relieved (depending on my mood and particular workout drive). Now, I basically work out every day, and it’s just part of my day, part of my routine, and helps keep me balanced in every way. I just LOVE it.

Tonight was an example of that…my week back to work post-most-awesome-vaca-ever (top 10-er!) has been pretty dry and uninspiring, and I firmly believe working out keeps my mind and body challenged, when other areas of my life may not be challenging me the way I want it. I went to spinning tonight with CSB (aka holy grail of hotness…and hot, and flirty, and fun, he was!) and this huge wave of adrenalin and inspiration and happiness washed over me. It was the best feeling and I just felt happy, and powerful and strong. It’s a good euphoric feeling, and I never want to let that go – in all aspects of my life, beyond working out. If I could bottle it up, I would!!

…and if you are thinking I am crazy for a) loving to work out and b) BLOGGING about loving to work out, then you just learned something else about me…I’m a fitness freak of nature, what can I say? I’m not perfect, I have to work at it constantly (in part because I refuse to NOT enjoy food and a little wine here and there – life’s too short to limit yourself!!), but it makes me, me, and I wouldn’t change anything about me (except maybe, just maybe, adding two inches to my frame – hehe!).

Happy almost-Friday!!

It can be slower than molasses, or downright speedy. This week? Slower than molasses!

Iwas supposed to go out with match.com boy #6, but (as he forewarned me when we chatted on Monday) he had to work later than he thought tonight, so we’re postponing. I was bummed, but at least did get the forewarning, and am sort of moody (hello, PMS) so wouldn’t have been in the best form anyway, so I guess it is a blessing in disguise! I’m also hoping to book something up with match.com boy #5, who I’m also really digging, but he’s had a later worknight schedule this week, too. So, we’ll see (still going after match.com boy #3 as well, haven’t heard back from him yet this week though).

I was recapping some of my thoughts on the dating world with my mom yesterday and she commented how cool it is that I get to experience dating as an adult. I didn’t quite get what she meant right away, but she has a point – when you are in your teen/college years, there is SO much to learn about the opposite sex, what you are looking for, what qualities are “must haves” etc., and the whole dating “thing” is just completely different too (more immaturity, more hookups etc – though that can happen anytime I suppose!). So, now I have my eyes wide open, I’ve had enough relationships under my belt (and um, a marriage!) that I’m more self-aware, confident, and driven to find someone that meets my needs and interests. So, she’s right…I think dating as an adult is invaluable, and hopefully, more fun and, at the end of the day, more successful!

Funny quote a fellow blogger friend of mine (she’s on my blogroll – Chemopalooza!) said to me: “dating strangers is like picking something up off the ground and eating it.” Now, if you know her – this quote is even funnier (and she’s had quite a few pretty “interesting”match.com dates herself, some of which she has blogged on, if you check her out), and in general, it’s a riot, isn’t it? I just had to throw that in there!!

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On a final note – my blog hit 7,000 visits today!! Very excited – I just passed 6,000 visits not too long ago, so more and more people are reading, which is awesome. Thanks for reading everyone!

As you know, I am ALWAYS looking for new divorce blogs to follow, read, and “borrow” from on occasion, and one of my recent finds (a real gem!) is Since My Divorce. It’s a fantastic blog and resource for those going through divorce, and I really like the format of it, which includes advice on various situations (most recently, on changing your name after divorce) and interviews divorcees.

Well, not only did the author (Mandy Walker) add me to her blogroll (such an honor when anyone adds me! I love it!), she is going to interview me for her blog. This is so exciting for me as I am looking forward to sharing my thoughts with more readers, and mayb even make a few more blog “friends.” I’ll be speaking with Mandy in early September and will be sure to link back to it when it appears ๐Ÿ˜‰

It’s funny – I am in PR, and always prepping execs for interviews with reporters, but being interviewed myself – it’s as though the tables are turned. Funny, I want to make sure I’m all prepped and know what I want to say etc…not that I should *really* worry about that, I mean, come on, I live and breathe this daily, but still, a girl’s gotta prepare ๐Ÿ˜‰

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