I’m constantly surprised at where I am mentally when I look back at the last nine months. Sure, it’s been a slow progression, but it still feels like I have come pretty far. But what’s even more interesting and in a way, mind-blowing to me is how much I feel I have grown and learned about myself over the last month alone! It’s funny, because I actually chalk that up in large part to getting into the dating thing.
Putting yourself out there – either on match.com or other dating services or other means (bar, through a friend, etc) – actually takes some guts, especially if a) you’ve never truly “dated” before (um hello, that would be me!!) or b) you haven’t dated in 10 years (again, that would be me!). Getting past the second-guessing over what the heck to put in your profile, or who to reach out to or what pictures to put up, and into actually talking to guys you are going to meet up with, and meeting them for the first time, is downright intimidating! You never know what to expect, and the fear of keeping up conversation, or hoping they are who you thought they are, and them post-date, wondering if things actually clicked etc. It’s just a whole new world of “what if’s” – but on the flip side, it’s also a lot of fun for those very same reasons – the newness of meeting new people, seeing what makes you click, finding out what you are really looking for in someone (and what you’re not!), and just having fun with it. I’m realistic to know that the guys I meet on match.com (including match.com boys 1-6!!) may be non-starters, or may fizzle after a few dates (or I may get stood up – LOL) and I’m not expecting to necessarily find “the one” on here, and I think having those expectations at the outset is important, so you aren’t dissapointed in what you find.
So, I am learning a lot, and it’s really only been a month or so. Kind of a neat side benefit to all of this! And, it’s made me a little more confident flirting with CSB aka the holy grail of hotness (you know I just wanted to work that into my post!), and just generally, feeling more confident (for example – my VERY first boyfriend popped up on Facebook this weekend, and I friended him, and we’ve been emailing a bit back and forth. I don’t think I would have done that a month ago. And it’s not because I have the hots for him or anything, I mean, please, it’s been at least a dozen years, and he’s married with a two year old. It’s just fun to reconnect. He was a nice guy).
…and on that note, just chatted a bit with match.com boy #6 – we are meeting up for dinner on Wednesday. Looking forward to it (and secretly hoping a date comes through with match.com boy #5 too, he’s a cutie too).