With one week and counting until d-day, I have been weighing the past almost-1o years of my life and thinking about what was good, what was bad and what was probably not as good as I thought, now that I look back (if that makes any sense). So, I thought this quote made a lot of sense for today’s quote Friday (thanks to Quest for T for this gem!):
“The reason people find it so hard to be happy is that they always see the past better than it was, the present worse than it is, and the future less resolved than it will be.”
Not to say that I am not happy, or haven’t been happy, but I think there is a lot to be said for idealizing the past – either chalking it up to be WORSE than it was, or the opposite, amping it up to be BETTER than it was in reality – and in thinking of my relationship with Pete, I think I am guilty of both of these things to an extent. Were we happy? Sure, but looking beneath things, there were issues that I didn’t see. Our relationship did have its ups and downs, whether I wanted to see it or not, but it wasn’t terrible either, it was just okay. And I don’t want to ever settle for okay again. I think that’s my big takeaway. We didn’t fight, but we didn’t love enough either (we loved each other, yes, but clearly we didn’t connect enough physically or emotionally to keep that connection going strong enough), so we just “were” – and that’s no way to be “only” 10 years (and 2 years of marriage) into what should be a life-long relationship.
Reading it, it seems simple, but I know it’s not that simple to keep a relationship strong, loving, and, let’s be honest, physically fulfilling as well. And the saddest part to me? I don’t think nearly enough people realize they are in these types of relationships or marriages until it’s too late, and then they settle, or think they can’t do any better. And that’s just tragic. So, that is my takeaway for this week – don’t idealize the past (either positive or negative), don’t settle for less, and shoot for the moon in everything – life, love, and career. And then, happiness is just a natural feeling – seeing things clearly, past/present/future.
Who’s with me?? Happy Friday, and a wonderful long weekend. It’s been a fantastic summer, to say the least, and I plan to wave goodbye (and hang on to it as long as I can!) cherishing every moment.