I’m not sure if “reading BS” is a learned quality or an innate one, but if it’s innate, I certainly don’t have it, and hope it is something I can learn. I am not a pessimistic person, I think of the glass as half-full and try to keep my mind is positive as possible, whenever possible. But sometimes I think that gets me in trouble because I take others’ words and actions at face value and don’t think about what the motives behind those actions might be – either for the good or for the bad.
Where is this ramble going? Well, for one, it’s a general observation of myself I’ve started to see more lately, especially as I continue the dating thing, and two, it’s directly related to boy #7. He’s being vague and wishy-washy, and just today, he’s not returning my calls or texts. I thought perhaps he was different, and said what he meant, and meant what he said, but I guess that may not be true (OR I could be being pessimistic, but as noted above, I’m not normally a pessimist!) after all. I’ve gone through our earlier email exchanges, and re-read his match.com profile, and he just seemed so normal, and not “like that” (to ditch and run so to speak), but perhaps it was all BS and I just don’t have a good BS detector (maybe I need an upgrade…!).
But for me, the struggle with honesty, and taking others’ words at face value vs. thinking about what they REALLY might mean, is, where is that line? Where do you go from actually believing what others say because you trust that what they are saying is true, to reading between the lines on what is being said or done? Does everyone really need a touch of pessimism in their lives so they don’t get caught in a situation where something doesn’t turn out as though it seems? Or, is it really just something you learn – you just figure out when someone’s telling the truth vs. BS’ing you by going through it and learning from it? It’s something I ponder, because either way, there’s a downside – a) you become a pessimist and never think there is anything good in people or b) you believe what you are told and learn from it (and possibly get burned in the process…every single time).
So, the optimist in me is hoping I’m jumping to conclusions re: boy #7 but if I’m not, then it’s dissapointing that this is who he really is – a jerk! – but, if that’s who he is, I don’t want him anyway, and he’s not worth my time. Beyond boy #7, I do think I need to learn more about reading people, I guess, and figuring out what’s true, and what’s not, and if that comes with time, I need patience!