Three years ago today, I was stepping aboard a plane, heading to Kauai with Pete for our solo wedding and honeymoon. It’s been on my mind all week, and though I know these anniversaries and memories will slowly not feel as significant (as my very sage BDF noted to me this week – thank you!), this year, the first year post-divorce around this kind of anniversary still feels significant. In a way, I feel nostalgic, and look back at me, and us, at that moment in time, and wonder if I would have changed anything, if I could, about that decision, to marry Pete. And I can say, even now, without a single doubt, that I wouldn’t have changed anything. We had a great run (if you will!), 10 years strong, and though the marriage has ended, I’m grateful for the person I have become because of Pete pre-and post-marriage/divorce. And I know Pete feels the same way.
In fact, I reminded him what today was, earlier this week, and he also got a bit sad, but then turned around and said, “you know what? I’m glad we went to Kauai together, because I wouldn’t have wanted to experience it with anyone else.” That response surprised me at first (as I sit here crying – damn PMS!), but then I sat back and thought about it, and he’s right. I am so glad we got to experience such an amazing destination together. We chose the wedding WE wanted – just us, on the beach, simple and fun – and the honeymoon I would still to this day do all over again the same way, and had a blast together. And I STILL want to be Hawaiian in my next “life” (in addition to a winery tour guide, of course), and my memories of Kauai are not tarnished by the fact that we are now divorced. I was afraid that it would, but it hasn’t, and if I could go back there today, I would. And if I ever have the chance to go back there again, I will. Without a doubt.
So, though I’m a little sad today, it’s more the nostalgia of that time together, three years ago, and not so much because we are no longer married. I feel at peace, and still hopeful that I will capture the essence of that again – ten times over – with someone special again someday. Mahalo!
One of my good friends from college (my college roommate) just got engaged last night…and in a way, it feels full circle. I’m so happy for her, and her now-fiancee is fantastic. see? new memory of this date…makes me happy.