Today’s post is inspired by one of my close friends who recently divorced (we sort of experienced it together, in a way), who was also interviewed by Mandy Walker over at SinceMyDivorce. In reading her series of posts today, something she said struck me…she chose divorce for happiness, not only for her but for BOTH of them…I think there is so much power in that statement and decision, and I think far too many people sit in unhappy marriages because they think they don’t have any other options. An excerpt:
I remember the day I moved the last box out of the house. He was sitting on the front steps and he had some tears in his eyes. I grabbed his hand and said, ‘I’m not just doing this for me. I’m doing it for you because you’re a good person. You’re not meant for me but you do deserve to find someone who’s going to love you back as much as you love her. When find that person, you will come to me and you will thank me. As hard as this is, you will ultimately thank you.’
We’re only here one time and it doesn’t make sense to stay in something that doesn’t give you the happiness you deserve with your time on earth. At the same time, it is very scary to walk out of your comfort zone into the unknown but I’m really glad I did because I definitely found happiness, a lot of happiness.
It takes an extremely strong and brave person to make a decision like that, and she did it, and eventually, they will BOTH be better off for it. I feel that, although Pete initially decided to leave the marriage for HIM, ultimately, he ended it for US. I see that so much more clearly now, and I know I have said it a zillion times, but I am so much happier now, and never thought I could be happier OUT of my marriage than in it.
I’ve just been feeling so strongly about this lately, and partially because once again, Pete and I are experiencing another evolution in our relationship…we’re still talking (and quite regularly), we’re still supporting each other (in life, dating, advice etc), and we’re still getting together from time to time. I thought for sure things would wane once the house was sold and the divorce was final, but it hasn’t, and it’s not been forced, it’s continued to be natural, and I couldn’t feel more at ease about it. As I mention various conversations I have to friends of mine that I’ve had with Pete, I still get strange looks…but my response? “What works for us doesn’t work for everyone…in fact, it probably doesn’t work for ANYONE!” – and leave it at that 😉