Hi, my name is Jolene and I’m an overthinker
I know, I know, you are all *shocked* by that revelation. Utterly floored. In all seriousness, I think I’ve reigned in my overthinking ways to a point, but when it comes to dating, Overthinker Ollie comes out in FULL FORCE! I totally relate to what Snarkbutt Divorced has been going through (and chronicling daily – much to my delight!) – the ups and downs of dating, the fits and starts, the second-guessing, overthinking, self-doubt…the works! And dating is supposed to be fun…it’s hard to feel gung-ho about it when that level of overthinking comes into play, and I KNOW I need to reign it in (And, quite a few of you have observed that – all of your feedback and comments have been duly noted and they’ve sunk in. Really. I am grateful to have such good viewpoints from you all (both on my blog and outside of it)).
I need to capture that perspective I claim to have – and I think I DO have to a point, yet when it comes to dating, I tend to lose that perspective faster than I’d like. Sure, there are duds out there who say “I don’t date divorcees” – well, then, I don’t want to date you if you are that close-minded. Sure, there are guys out there who may misread my intentions for what I want in a relationship (or use that as a way “out”) – and if that’s their opinion, and you want to make a snap judgment after a few measly emails over the course of a day, then I don’t want you! And, if we go out on two dates and you proceed to get weird, stop returning phone calls and then send a strange email about feeling like a “hermit,” then buddy, I think you may have underlying issues that I don’t want to get involved in. <–that’s my pep talk…is it working?!
What I need to focus on instead is this: I DESERVE the best, I DESERVE respect, I DESERVE honesty…and if I don’t get that from dating you, then you don’t deserve ME. So, rather than focusing on all these fits and starts and frustrations over date #1 and date #2 fizzles, I’m going to focus on keeping this light (as I fully intended this to be when I jumped into the dating world), keeping it fun, and seeing where it takes me. Isn’t that what makes dating fun? Not all the other BS in between.
…and hopefully, as the cliche states – I’ll find someone when I least expect it (me: but hurry up and find me already! ;-))
Overthinking Ollie. Humbled and Hopeful Harriet.
WOW – literally JUST hit 12,000 hits tonight!!! Awesome. I feel even more humbled.