I’ve been pondering this for awhile…why is it that my self-esteem flip flops so vehemently (like a bad rollercoaster ride) when I encounter rejection on the dating scene? I know it happens to everyone, sure, but I feel like I have this emotional “switch” that automatically thinks it’s me, not them, that’s the problem, whenever a guy doesn’t email me back on match or return my wink, or whatever the case may be…it’s not as though I have spent any time, effort or – hello – feelings for these guys, so why let it eat away at me?

“what if he thought I’m ugly?”

“maybe it was something I said”

“maybe it’s because I’m divorced.”

“maybe it’s because I’m 30” (okay, okay, this one’s lame!)

Why is it all about me? I *think* I’m a catch…I mean, I’m not trying to toot my own horn or solicit compliments (hopefully nobody is intepreting today’s post that way!), but I KNOW I have a lot to offer in a relationship. I’m fun, I’m funny (okay, sometimes dorky funny, but that’s ok!), I’m in shape, I have my own life, I respect my relationships, I’m honest, I’m open (now this is sounding like my match.com profile or something!). So why do I automotically shift to the negative instead of…

“he’s close-minded if it was divorce that turned him off”

“if he read too much into what I said in one email, then he’s either way too sensitive, or jumps to conclusions”

“I’m not ugly, he’s ugly!”

Haha, okay, you get the point. I guess it’s both ends of the extreme – it’s not always going to be me, and it’s not always going to be them, that’s the sticking point…everyone has their own quirks, their own ideas on what they’re looking for and their own way of getting to know people. I’m learning that, I guess, and I need to learn to stop letting these one-date wonders (check out this fab blog – allll about that!), fits and starts, and non-starters hammer away at the self-esteem I’ve been trying to build back for the last year!

Signed – yet again – Overthinking Ollie 😉

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