So, on date #9, brainy blonde and I gave each other one question to answer (at the end of our date – of course, there were questions throughout) – mine was spontaneous (‘what’s your last name?’ Ha, well, I was curious!) and after much pondering, BB was more thoughtful in his approach (he’s a thinker, I like it!) and finally, after a few minutes of pondering, said, “so, your profile notes that you ‘know what you want’ and you’ve said that a couple times during our discussion…so, what DO you want?”

Silence.

Good question.

What do I want?

For someone that does talk about what I want (or, what I DON’T want, I guess, is really what I’ve learned, mostly?), it was difficult for me to articulate! Right now, I still can’t quite articulate what I want – in life, in dating, in everything – I just know what it “is” in my head. Is that normal? I mean, I know, in a relationship, I want someone outgoing, and willing to try new things, new places, and just be easy-going and willing to go with the flow. I want someone who respects me, is romantic (I never really thought about romance, until one of my sisters noted that she can’t really ever remember Pete being romantic…and after she said it, I saw it too. Wow, I guess I don’t really know what romance feels like!), and is driven. And in life, I want freedom, and to have fun, and to have the ability to weave in what inspires me, into my daily life (working out, being active etc., – check that off the list with Group Kick training coming!), and to be excited to see that significant other, and have my heart skip a beat whenever I see them.

Well, I guess I am articulating it now, in a sense, aren’t I? It still feels wishy-washy, but I guess that’s what emotions and what you want “feelings-wise” is – wishy-washy, airy-fairy, not something you can objectify necessarily.

So, that’s me, what I want, in a meandering, wishy-washy, airy-fairy way. Nothing concrete, a lot of “to be determined” going on, but in my heart, I know what I want, and I WILL get it. It’s just a matter of time, right?

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