I think I need to admit myself to Overthinkers Anonymous, or maybe I have a point – you be the judge!
So, similar to what Snarkbutt Divorced actually blogged about this week – around dating more than one person and being a bit uncomfortable with that, in a sense – I am sort of grappling with this as well. In two ways, for two reasons.
First, I have two dates coming up this week (I won’t specify when, for the jinx factor!) – #3 with boy #10 and #2 with boy #9 – and I’m looking forward to both, because these guys are SO different, and I’m curious how they’ll play out. I’m not so much uncomfortable with going out on a couple of dates with both simultaneously (I call that a blessing! LOL!), but more because why doesn’t that stop me from browsing the dating sites still??
There is another guy I am chatting with on Ok Cupid that is intriguing, though he may be more on the quiet side like boy #7 (the nurse), which is fine, but why do I keep looking when I have my hands full at the moment? I feel like I should see how these two play out first and then move ahead with any others that come up, but the other part of me worries about the “what if” factor – that small nagging question in my mind, that “what if” I don’t strike up a convo with a guy that interests me on match.com or Ok Cupid because I “have my hands full” when they could be the right guy for me?
Like I’ve said – I am having fun with this and not expecting to find the next “one” but it’s the overthinker in me that wonders if I should keep my options open by continuing to check out my “top matches” everyday and seeing who, if anyone, is emailing me (and vice versa, emailing any that interest me), or stick with what I’ve got going right now – which is great, don’t get me wrong – and see how those play out first. I hem and haw with it, and overthink way too much.
Thoughts??
Warmly,
Overthinking Ollie 😉
November 21, 2009 at 8:20 pm
You could think of it as hedging your bets. You don’t know if anything will work out with these two guys, so you keep your options open until a clearer picture emerges.
It’s also a way not to jinx anything– if you’re still keeping your eyes open, you’re not putting all of your energy into these guys. And putting all your energy into someone jinxes it, at least in my case. 🙂
November 22, 2009 at 12:11 pm
TOTALLY agree Snark – you hit the nail on the head (probably verbalized it much better than I did in my blog!). I am hoping a clearer pic emerges for both of these guys, and then I’ll know more about the next step. For now, Fun! 😉
November 21, 2009 at 9:32 pm
Jo, when you end up meeting a guy you really* like, you won’t want to keep looking so maybe you HAVEN’T really met “the” guy just yet. You’ll always be afraid to settle on the first relationship post divorce because you won’t want to deal with the same poopiness (or at least that’s what happened to me). All in time, Chica!
November 22, 2009 at 12:10 pm
I hope you know me well enough to know that I’ll never settle on the first guy I date (obviously, it hasn’t happened yet!)…and, really, what I was trying to get at is, that you never know who you really click with necessarily based on 1-2 dates, which is why I’m going for it right now. And, if it doesn’t jive, it doesn’t jive. on to the next! 😉
November 22, 2009 at 2:07 pm
Totally agree with you Jo, sample away and enjoy every minute of it! No regrets, no what-ifs right??
November 22, 2009 at 8:21 pm
JUST HAVE FUN! XOXO
November 23, 2009 at 9:15 am
I think you misunderstood what I was saying Jo. I just meant that when you find the right* person, you won’t question it and want to continue dabbling in the dating pool 😉
November 23, 2009 at 3:01 pm
Agreeing with Amy here… First and foremost have fun Jo! And when you actually meet the “right” person, you will find yourself not checking for others. You just got to give it some time. I could see you overthinking if it were 3 months into dating a guy, but 3 dates is fine to continue dabbling. 🙂
November 3, 2010 at 6:16 pm
[…] that’s huge for me, I mean, I *am* the self-appointed president and founder of Overthinkers Anonymous, and in every past dating or quasi-relationship, I overthought everything. Like whoa. From going on […]