The “old” milestones of a marriage soon become a thing of the past post-divorce. I didn’t really think I wouldn’t remember or feel a significance about certain dates from my marriage, and I haven’t, for the most part (but it’s only been the first year, I know as the years go on, the milestones will just melt into days), but yesterday was a significant date from the past and I didn’t even realize it until today.

Ten years to the day since I “met” Pete online in an Excite “college talk” chat room.

Excite.com doesn’t even exist anymore, does it?!

Ten years is a long time. I’ve been “rounding up” my relationship with Pete to ten years, when I reference it, usually, but yesterday was really the tenth anniversary of our first meeting in that chat room, one random day in December.

And where was I yesterday? With boy #9! Maybe that’s why I didn’t realize the date, huh?!

He ended up coming by last night and we spent a few hours together at my place. We sort of “picked up where we left off” the night prior, and I was curious how things would go, if it would feel normal/natural, or if there would be any awkwardness or shyness that I usually feel the first 2-3 minutes of a date with him (I know that will wane one of these days! Normal excitedness/nervousness, I’m chalking it up to!). There wasn’t any. We talked for awhile, about what we are looking for, our past relationships, hilarious conversation about first kisses, elementary school crushes, first loves etc. Boy #9 admitted that he is still being cautious, because he wants to make sure whatever relationship he enters next is right, and not rushed or forced.

I was a little surprised he was still feeling cautious around me, or guarded, but then it got me thinking that he has a good point. There isn’t any rush – and I certainly shouldn’t be feeling like I need to rush into anything! I’ve been in a relationship for ten years…now is the time to take my time, enjoy dating, enjoy my singleness. He’s keeping me in check that way, and I respect that, and continue to be pleasantly surprised!

So, back to that milestone I mentioned…perhaps subconsciously that was that pang of sadness/missing reaction I had when I saw Pete on Saturday. It sort of makes sense.

But today, I feel peace. I’m actually proud to say that Pete and I have sustained a relationship for ten years. It’s still sort of a reason to celebrate, in a way, because we’ve come full circle – from friendship, to love, to marriage, and back to friendship (toss in a little divorce along the way – slight detour I suppose?!) – and ten years later, the friendship still stands. That feels like something of a victory lap, doesn’t it?

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