It’s December 16.

One year and 16 days since Pete moved out (and 32 days after he made the decision to walk away) and what happens?

He admits he made a mistake walking away.

Wow.

I wasn’t expecting that conversation when he wanted to get together tonight to chat (and just to catch up, since it’s been awhile since we’ve gotten together). And sure, maybe 8 or 10 months ago, hearing those words would still have been some of the best words I could hear.

But tonight, I didn’t really know how to react, except to say that it’s too late. It’s far too late. And he knows that, and he knew that coming in to the conversation, but it was something he wanted to get off his chest and share with me.

And I actually respect that and am touched that he felt comfortable enough to tell me that. But I don’t have any doubts, I don’t have any regrets over that decision, and it doesn’t make me waver at all in my feelings for him (platonic) or for where I want to go in the future.

He also admitted that this was the best thing to happen to ME and he knows that, and he sees the changes in me. That felt like an amazing statement of validation. Not that I needed that from him, because I don’t need his validation or “permission” but the fact that he sees that in me, and is happy for where I am today, makes me happy.

But I do feel for him, because regret is an awful emotion. You can’t rid yourself of regret, or take it back. It’s always there. I’m still a firm believer in “everything happens for a reason” and God has a path for us, but I can see it is a battle for him, on what he wants and where he wants to go.

But I’m glad we are continuing to have a good, close friendship, and can have open and honest communication. Tonight was certainly a huge testament to that.

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