So, it’s been two days since brainy blonde called it quits. I’ve had two days to reflect on what I’m calling “close encounter with potential relationship” and have quite a few takeaways – some surprising, some not. I find that the more I date, the more I realize what I do want and specific things I don’t. Sure, that sounds like a “no-duh” revelation, but coming out of this “close encounter” there were things about brainy blonde/boy #9 I liked, but a few things that I didn’t. And they weren’t really personality conflicts, just things I don’t want whenever it is I do enter into a relationship.
So, here goes…
- Meet me halfway. Our schedules didn’t mesh all too well. He’s got a busy life, and right now, so do I as well (Group Kick is taking over my life, not that I’m complaining!). I think it’s important when you are in a relationship that you make time for each other. Not every single day, necessarily, but I think it shows effort when you take the time to give a quick call, or an email/text, if you can’t squeeze in a call. I want someone that meets me halfway on that, so I don’t feel like I’m making more of the effort than him.
- I like to be mentally challenged. This was something boy #9 was good at – he asked good questions, thought-provoking questions. I dig that, and I want that in a man. Hand in hand with that, I like trying new things and having someone around that is not only willing to try new things, but also suggests new things to do. For example, the zoo. That was a lot of fun. Some guys might think it’s cheesy and wouldn’t even consider it. But it was different, more off the beaten path, and I like that. Open-mindedness is good.
- A little romance goes a long way. Now, we didn’t date long enough, necessarily, where romance really entered the equation too much, and I’m not sure if that’s because we were “just dating” or because he wasn’t romantic, generally. Maybe that’s something I’ll learn as I continue on the dating journey I’ve entangled myself in, and maybe I’ll find that there SHOULD have been a bit more of a romantic flavor to our dates. Sure, there was attraction/chemistry etc., but being devoid of romance…is that bad? Or normal that early into dating? All I know is, I want romance, and I hope I find a man that offers that. I guess I believe in chivalry just a wee bit, I’ll admit that!
- I want to be pursued…just a little bit. This isn’t necessarily heavily specific to boy #9, but I want to feel pursued by a man, just a little bit. I think that ties into the romance factor, and making time for one another. I don’t want to be the pursuer all the time, it’d be refreshing if I were the one pursued. Sometimes my mind plays tricks on me and I start going down the “maybe I’m going after guys out of my league or something and that’s why I’m the pursuer” which is negative and not healthy, and I really don’t actually THINK that…which leads to my last revelation.
- I’m worth it and I deserve the best. Damn straight. I deserve all of these things in a man/relationship and I know it will happen when it’s meant to (I just wish it would hurry up and happen!). I just need to remember that, and remind myself of that.
So, there you have it…my reflections. I guess I learned more than I thought I did. What do you think?
On a side note, I’m debating my match.com subscription. It ends on Monday, and I may not renew it. When I was dating boy #9, I wasn’t going to renew, not only because of that, but because I kept seeing the same guys over and over again. Then, when things ended with boy #9, I had a sudden change of heart, that maybe I’d keep it. But after browsing the site the last few days, I’m underwhelmed…not much has changed. So, I think I’m leaning towards canceling it for now. Stay tuned for my decision 😉