**First – disclaimer upfront – friend, you know who you are, and this post is NOT aimed at you whatsoever, but it spurred a blog post. I hope you don’t mind.**

This is a question a good friend of mine over the weekend. I know she was 99% joking, but it spurred a couple of things. One – I would hope that would be a question with a known answer (a resounding “no” – it’s been over a year, there’s no turning back, no if’s and’s or but’s) and two – will it ever get to a point where I can integrate my ongoing friendship with Pete with my friends and family?

Backing up to the original reason for this question, for context. We were chatting at girls night about the upcoming Group Kick launch (which, by the way is um, 19 days away! Eek! Training. every. day.this.week.ouch) and a few preview classes in advance where we can invite friends to participate to ensure we’re cuing well enough that they can follow along. I’d mentioned it to Pete and he was really interested in coming to do it. I thought that was awesome, because he was really proud of me, and how far I’ve come, and the fact that he wanted to come and see it in action meant a lot to me, actually. Then, the question – “are you getting back together?” came up, jokingly, of course, and everyone chuckled. I, of course, said no, why I mentioned it was because if any of them would feel “weird” if he was there, I would tell him not to come.

Which leads to my second question…when does it – or DOES IT EVER – become possible to integrate my continuing friendship with Pete with my family and friends?

So far, no dice. And I completely understand that, and would never push it, nor do I really think I ultimately WANT that. But, if it’s a large group of people in a kickboxing class, should it really matter? I guess that’s a little different than hanging out in a social setting, but it did get me thinking. Should I ever make that attempt? Does it ever make sense to re-integrate as friends? Or does it just make it forced and awkward?

I guess the pros basically outweigh the cons, but there are aspects of the comraderie everyone had with Pete from my family and friends that I miss and think transcends marriage (and divorce). Maybe one day, and maybe never (and to be honest, Pete may not ever really want that anyway. There has only been two occasions where Pete has interacted with my family since things started – once, he was at the house and my mom stopped by, and he said hello, and it was fine, and the second was also at the house, and one of my sisters and I were watching a movie, and he stopped by, and it was fine).