I heard from a friend of mine that I haven’t talked to for a few months and she asked, “so, how’s dating?”
Uh. It’s not.
Sort of reminded me that I’m not dating. I’m not in a relationship. I’m not really doing anything. But work. But Kick. (yes, I am exaggerating a wee bit for drama, of course I am doing social things too!). I’ve surpassed a lot of milestones in the last six months and am sort of just, well, feeling stagnant.
As I was reading Nicki’s post from yesterday over at Suddenly Singles, about anger, and feeling like she was backsliding, and then her feedback to my blog yesterday, around “just wanting to start this new life already,” I can totally relate, because, suddenly, I am sort of feeling the same way. Not to discount all of the realizations, all of the milestones, all of the dating (and ensuing realizations from those dates!), but right now, I’m just sort of here, doing my thing, but feeling stagnant, not learning a heck of a lot, not meeting potential partners through dates, just here.
Not to be a downer tonight, but I’m just feeling “hmmph” (not sure how to describe it other than that!). I’m still happy, I’m still enjoying life, I just want something to happen. I want love, I want companionship, I want some excitement. The excitement I was getting from dating, and I’m still on the hunt for the other two (love, companionship).
Damn you self-imposed dating hiatus. Damn you!
~~
But, on a bright note, I had my highest daily hit rate yesterday (over 400!) and hit 25K…nice milestone, if I do say so myself 😉
To Be Determined 
January 21, 2010 at 8:54 pm
Oh be careful what you wish for! Sometimes it’s ok for things to just hum along. I say that, knowing I’m semi-hypocritical of course. I bet things are far less stagnant than you think. And if they are, it’s ok for today right??!! I have no doubt that great things are in store for you simply b/c of your energy and attitude.
January 22, 2010 at 8:37 am
thanks heather, you are right, I should be careful what I wish for 😉 I’m hoping it’s just a minor bout of stagnation.
January 21, 2010 at 10:34 pm
Aww babe…I know how you feel, but I’m still sorry. The funny thing is that you can still feel “stagnant” with a super full life, I think you just have to recognize what’s “missing” and try to do something to keep that part of your mind/heart/whatever busy. Maybe your wing-lady needs to get on the job?!? 😉
January 22, 2010 at 8:38 am
Thanks friend! You are so right – even with a full life, which I DO feel I have, for the most part, I am feeling rut-worthy, and I just need to snap out of it. I need ALL of you wing-women to help me, seriously, find me a man, mmk? 😉
January 22, 2010 at 5:14 am
Oh, my friend, I know the feeling. I feel it, too. But, as Abe Lincoln once said: “This, too, shall pass.”
I think he was talking about a gallstone, however, so I’m not sure there’s much comfort in that thought.
January 22, 2010 at 8:39 am
INRIS – always finding a way to add just the right touch of humor 😉 You’re right though, it will pass…just gotta stand down and force it to 🙂
January 22, 2010 at 5:52 am
Yeah, see I hate that stagnant feeling so much that I’m trying to grow in other ways. I’m coming up on an especially hard time…where all I can think about is where I was last year at this time… Guess I’m going to have to really focus…unless I manage to find me a hunky distraction. Chin up! We’re all in this together.
January 22, 2010 at 8:40 am
Chin up!! Yes, Nicki, we can both do this. I need some bigger things to look forward to, in the midst of the daily grind…like a vacation or something (hey, there will likely be “hunky distractions” on tropical islands, right?! Who’s with me!!
January 22, 2010 at 5:24 pm
[…] Who I am « Stagnant. […]
January 22, 2010 at 6:54 pm
Oh skip that chin up stuff. NOOOOOOOO, none of that for you! I say let’s have a full blown Pity Party. I’ll make the invitations–you bring the Melancholy-flower salad. We can even do party games like “rolling in the mud” or the hike through the Valley of the Shadow…! 😛
Jo, toward the end of your marriage with Pete, chances are good it was somewhat argumentative and there was some adrenal type excitement. After the separation, there were all kinds of things for you to learn and new experiences, so again it was some bit of excitement. But a person can not be learning and growing and excited at that kind of pace forever. Eventually life kicks in and it starts to mellow out, and after all that growing and stuff it feels and sounds really quiet. This is a PERFECT time to reconnect with the peaceful, spiritual side inside you. Think “zen” and how your life has become gentle. For me, I found this was a great time to learn to pray again and I also tried mediation, relaxation, and a rosary (and I’m not Catholic). The fact is, though, that this is not stagnation. You’ve grown a LOT and really fast. This is life chilling it down to more normal speeds and it is going to feel kind of quiet–but that’s very cool. You can wantonly leave your dishes in the sink overnight and there will be no fight. Peace.
January 22, 2010 at 7:27 pm
Cindy – you are so right, I can’t even describe. I really needed that this week – your perspective is amazing!!!! I am going to embrace my inner zen…I need to do that!!! And PS – I LOVE the pity party suggestions, that’s awesome….rolling in the mud, had me rolling laughing 😉
February 1, 2010 at 5:09 pm
[…] So, it’s February 1st and I’ve realized something. Part of the reason I’ve felt stagnant lately in […]
March 9, 2010 at 7:08 pm
[…] That’s just a simplistic example, but it begs a larger question for me – why is it so hard to let go of routine and be a little more spontaneous – and not so scheduled and well, uptight? I literally do the same thing every single day and I think it’s starting to add to my fear of becoming stagnant. […]