Wow, I didn’t realize yesterday’s post was going to gather such an outpouring of support (THANK YOU – I can never say it enough!), and words of encouragement and insight. Your comments also spurred tonight’s post – what I’m calling my search for the happy medium.

One of my favorites posted a comment that was so wonderful:

All I have to say is don’t rush it. Enjoy what you have right now, be happy, stay adventurous and live for you. Discover your wants, desires, and needs first and when you least expect it that perfect companion will find you. If you miss dating, stop your hiatus, keep your eyes peeled, go on dates, enjoy it. And trust me, when you are “looking” for it, you never find it, it’s when you stop looking, stop taking things too seriously, go out have fun and just be happy, that’s when “he” finds you.

When I read it – it reminded me of what I would have posted as a comment to a blog on this topic (and well, she is one of my bestest, so I’m not surprised that her words reminded me of my own!) and words I should be taking to heart. But, it also got me thinking back to the question of what DO I want?!

And, I think the answer to that question is – I want the happy medium.

What is the happy medium, for me?

The happy medium is sort of what I had with boy #9 (not to keep referring back to that, as it’s over, but it’s the closest comparison I have personally experienced since my divorce) – nothing official in terms of a relationship, but dating one person, seeing them 1-2 times a week, but still having my independence as a single woman, exploring my still-somewhat-new world and figuring out what I want in a relationship. Okay, sure, that still sounds a little wishy-washy, but for now, it is what suits me right now. The one-off dating is harder, since you’re always starting at the awkward first date with no real sense of if there will be a date #2 or not (after going through 8 non-starters, it gets old, trust me!).

And, I know what some of you may say – don’t limit yourself to NOT getting into a relationship, because you never know if you’ll happen upon it anyway (okay, maybe that’s ultimately what I am hoping will happen with TBD next man in my life, but who’s counting), or you shouldn’t rush into a relationship anyway (hopefully it’s pretty clear by now that I’m not the rush into it type, or the force-fit type, and to be honest, after being on my own now for, oh, 1 year 4 months – but who’s counting – I wouldn’t really call it rushing it at this point anyway!), or you should let it happen organically.

All of that is true in some form or fashion, but for me, setting out for somewhere in the middle of all that feels “right” to me. And, of course, all that could be tossed out the window if my Prince Charming walks through the door, but that I won’t believe till I see it or feel it 😉

And yes, this post screams Overthinking Ollie – but hey, that’s who I am. I think about stuff, I ruminate, I debate, I hem, I haw, you call it what you want, but it helps me move forward and figure out my next step, so I’ll own it – my overthinking ways have never really steered me in the wrong direction. Yet.

Advertisements