I want to clear the air on something.
And maybe it’s just my reaction to others’ opinions and advice to my “leaping slowly” with CBE (which, don’t get me wrong, I embrace and appreciate every single word!), but generally, I feel as though I get this reaction to many of my dating excursions (from “real life” and blog friends):
“When it’s right, you’ll just know instantly.”
I almost 100% disagree with that statement and hey, I’m completely happy if I’m proved wrong at some point, but I honestly am not sure if that’s actually a realistic statement.
I’ve never really “known” instantly whoever I’ve dated (or married, for that matter! I didn’t know “instantly” that Pete was “the one”) now or previous to my marriage that they were “right” or a “match” and to hear that as often as I feel I do (please friends/family, I hope this isn’t offensive, as I don’t mean it to be, I just want to share how I’m feeling and my thoughts on this subject as I’ve been mulling it over for some time now) gets a little bit frustrating, because it makes it feel as though CBE (in this case, or others, in the past) is “written off” as a potential, when I don’t honestly know if it is going to continue, if it should continue, or if I want it to continue. It’s only been two dates so far, and I don’t think it’s fair to say that because I am not sure yet if/where it’s headed that it’s not a potential “match.”
What I wholeheartedly believe – and what BSF stated ever so eloquently yesterday when I was getting her take on this, is this statement:
You’ll know when you’re supposed to know.
THAT I can stand behind and THAT I believe. Maybe I’m a smidge jaded, or maybe I’m just trying to keep my “puppies and kittens” attitude at bay just a little bit and be realistic. Figuring out if there is potential in someone takes time. It isn’t just instant, no matter what. If I went about my dating life with the idea that “I’ll know instantly,” theoretically, I could write-off a potential mate that is “the one” just because it wasn’t instantaneous.
So, that’s my take – and as usual, I am always, always, always open to your opinions and feedback (if I wasn’t, I wouldn’t write about my dates or my feelings about those dates!), so I hope this doesn’t come across the wrong way at all, but it’s just something I wanted to share my perspective on.
This is just me being realistic more than optimistic (I know, it’s a switch, since I’m usually the uber-optimist, aren’t I?) and I think in this case, it’s warranted.