So, I’m not gonna lie.

I’m actually kinda CBE-ed out.

As in, thinking, overthinking, hashing/rehashing, stressing, worrying, wondering, and finally, deciding it was time to end things, that I almost don’t want to write another post on the same topic, but I feel there are some things I still want to say…my post-mortem, if you will.

But, first, a few more details on how I ended things, since I didn’t really get into that too much on my post yesterday (mostly because it was getting to be a really long post, and partially because I wasn’t sure if I’d hear from him again and wanted to capture “the end” in its entirety.

So, of course, I agonized (aka overthought) about how I should broach the topic (phone, email, in-person?), and what I should say (be completely honest, be honest, to a point, or blame it on the distance/not be too honest).  Part of me didn’t want to be nitty-gritty honest because I didn’t want to get into a rehashing situation where he might try and persuade me to stick it out, or whatever, but then I realized that if it were me, I’d want honesty, especially since I’m always preaching about how I hate when guys aren’t honest or upfront with things.

So, I went with the honest, but high-level honest approach (not nitty-gritty) calling out the main reasons for wanting to end things (which I mentioned in my post yesterday) and did so by email (since he “hates” the phone, apparently) to get my main points out. I told myself that if he didn’t respond in a couple hours, I’d call him to discuss.

Well, he responded.

With a super long email, completely surprised by my decision. He took blame on the whole distance thing, but sort of made some excuses for a few of the other areas (I won’t go into details here, but part of it felt “too little too late” – if there were other reasons he was doing some of the things he was doing, then why not be upfront then, instead of letting them fester?). He was hoping it wasn’t a “final” decision and asked if I was still open to getting together on Saturday (this Saturday, we had planned to see a comedian locally). I responded, reiterated my points, and that was that. I haven’t heard from him since. Part of me thinks I may, for some reason, but I am not holding my breathe, nor hoping to, either.

Whatdya think of my approach? The response?

Either way, I am feeling so much better today. A weight has been lifted, even though it’s always sad to see something that had potential like that end, but I am hopeful for the future.

~~

And, I must say, all of your feedback (about 20 comments – wow, I feel so special!) was wonderful to read. The resounding message I got?

I deserve better, no more almost/kinda fits, be true to yourself, don’t settle or sell yourself short, trust your gut, and move on with your bad self! (okay, I added that last part, but felt it was warranted).

~~

And one last thing? I’m “pimping” the guest post I did sort of on a whim for Lil Devil Mama for her NEW blog venture – Three Minutes in Heaven.

Hi, I’m a born-again dater. How’s that sound? Pretty cool, next to This is Why I Date(BSF)’s Chronic First Dater, doesn’t it? 😉

Advertisements