Over the last week or two, I feel as though I’ve lost sight of the “me” in me. I’ve had more down moments and feelings than I have in awhile, and it’s been frustrating, because all I want to be is happy. And part of being happy is exploring and celebrating ME.
I was reading Lauren’s latest post on My Life, Incomplete today, (btw, worth checking out her post-divorce insanity post yesterday too, it was really great) and this excerpt jumped out and smacked me upside the head with a much-needed dose of reality:
Our problems, our heartache, our pain are all a part of the only experience we will have here on Earth. They are a part of who we are and who we will become. Not only should we learn from them, but we should embrace them. I’m not suggesting that we should jump for joy over our sick children or the tragic loss of a loved one (or any other painful experience, at that). I only mean to communicate that life is now. Life is beautiful. Through good and bad, life is better when shared with others.
Life IS beautiful, and my life, well, it may feel ugly sometimes, but overwhelmingly, it is beautiful, because I am alive, I have my family, I have my friends, I have my health and I have a lot of life to live. I may not have love, I may not have a heck of a lot of money right now, and I may not have either of those things as much as I want them right now (love more than money, the priority!), but I have life and a lot of experience to embrace, including heartache/pain/sadness, which may not be all goodness and joy, but it’s making me who I am today – a stronger, more resilient, more confident me. The rest will fall into place, when it’s meant to, and I just need to release that uptightness and control that has been paralyzing my thoughts lately.
I need to get back to me and remember my self-professed “anthem” – Happy, by Leona Lewis. The words, in part, are below, and they are me through and through. I’m just trying to be happy.
Someone once told me that you have to choose
What you win or lose
You can’t have everything
Don’t cha take chances
Might feel the pain
Don’t cha love in vain
Cause love won’t set you free
I could stand by the side
And watch this life pass me by
So unhappy
But safe as could beChorus:
So what if it hurts me?
So what if I break down?
So what if this world just throws me off the edge
My feet run out of ground
I gotta find my place
I wanna hear myself
Don’t care about all the pain in front of me
Cause I’m just trying to be happy, yeah
Just wanna be happy, yeah
May 3, 2010 at 7:38 pm
This is a great post and great reminder to really enjoy each moment.
May 3, 2010 at 7:54 pm
thanks Heather!
May 3, 2010 at 7:45 pm
Those lyrics are amazing. They are so true. I haven’t heard that song, but my next stop after this comment is iTunes! Thank you for sharing that.
And thank you for quoting me — I’m honored! I’m glad you connected with today’s post. I’ve just really been feeling this lately, and that quote from Lisa finally gave those feelings a voice by inspiring that post.
May 3, 2010 at 7:56 pm
The lyrics are awesome, seriously should have been written for me! You’ll love the song, it’s so inspiring and motivating for me (good running song for me too when I just want to quit!). Loved your posts, the last two, in particular, they were the inspiration I needed to connect what I’ve been feeling lately.
May 3, 2010 at 8:00 pm
Great post, Jolene. Once again we’re in each other’s heads because I’ve been feeling the same way lately. I gotta snap out of it and get back to living my life before I lose my marbles. I’ve been trying to take those chances we talked about, but it’s not getting me anywhere and I’m about ready to say ‘screw it’. But hey, I tried!
May 3, 2010 at 8:04 pm
Haha, now only if we can keep swapping HAPPY thoughts only, not pity parties and random waves of sadness/annoyances, right?? Take the chances, see what happens, and if nada, then say screw it…right? 😉
May 4, 2010 at 6:05 am
Awww. You are happy. You are just like everyone else. You are wanting a little more out of life, and more specifically, someone to share that life with.
Eyes open. When you least expect it and often aren’t looking…then it’s found.
Thinking of you!
May 4, 2010 at 8:21 am
Thanks Nicki – I am, and sometimes it’s just hard to see the happiness when the forest gets in the darn way 😉 thank you! XO!
May 4, 2010 at 10:42 am
I think having that realization is the first step to making things right again. You’re well on your way 🙂
May 4, 2010 at 10:44 am
thank you! I think so too 🙂
May 4, 2010 at 10:58 am
Love those lyrics!
May 4, 2010 at 11:01 am
thanks (and for visiting!) – aren’t they great?
May 4, 2010 at 11:37 am
Sometimes, I think, part of being happy is to go through the sad times. Sometimes we’re simply processing stuff so we can let it go.
Hang in there. We all have our funks.
You can’t bounce up if you don’t hit bottom sometimes…
May 4, 2010 at 11:52 am
Thanks T – you’re right, you have to let yourself be down or sad sometimes, and it is about processing. I just hate when I get TOO into that mode and need to climb my way out! Feeling better today.
May 4, 2010 at 7:25 pm
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