I choose today to trust in You, knowing that You are good, and You always lead me into victory.

These are the words my sister forwarded to me this morning, from Joel Osteen’s daily word. And I truly need to dig deep and have faith that He has a plan for Nala, and that will give me peace.

Yesterday was one of the most difficult, low, sad and trying days since the day Pete told me he wanted a divorce. And writing yesterday’s post was truly echoing what was going on in my mind and my heart, and all of the outpouring of thoughts, prayers and support from everyone that commented (and everyone IRL that offered their words of support, including Pete, who has been there for me, as well) has been amazing. And while I may have cried reading many of those comments (and my sister Jen’s blog post here), they got me through last night and today.

And after waiting all day for the vet to return my call, he finally did this afternoon. The early findings from the bloodwork?

Almost exactly identical to the results almost two years ago when Nala went through a similar “mystery” illness.

Come again?! Seriously?

Yep. Inconclusive for the most part, a little bit high on the white cells, but probably only indicative of an infection of some kind (and she’s now on antibiotics for the next 7 days), and nothing else really out of the ordinary. No fever. No vomiting. No lack of appetite (quite the opposite! She eats like a horse). Nothing really out of the ordinary except for oh, losing almost two pounds in 6 months.

It’s agonizing not knowing what it is, but at the same time, I am a bit relieved that it isn’t anything bad at the outset, but it also means that we probably have a winding path to determine just what it is. For now? She’ll stay on antibiotics for a week, and we may start steroids at that point, to see if those help spur things along as well. And then, if that doesn’t work…we’ll determine the next step.

What that next step is? I don’t know.

What I do know is this – I need to dig deep, trust that God has a plan and take it day by day.

Father God, thank You for ordering and directing my steps. Thank You for working behind the scenes on my behalf. I choose today to trust in You, knowing that You are good, and You always lead me into victory. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.