Last night I had dinner with Pete (as I noted yesterday) as a belated birthday dinner, and a chance to get together (and score – he paid again – even though it was his birthday recently…how nice, right??).
We went to a local place we used to love going to (not as couple-y as the last place we went, but a place that has delicious food to say the least!) and that I still love going to.
What was significant about this place, you ask?
It was the place we went for dinner the night the shit hit the fan.
The night we “attempted” to act as if everything was okay (this was when we were discussing why he wasn’t happy and the eventual lead to “I don’t want to be married anymore” aka divorce) but about halfway through dinner, I distinctly recall how awkward, forced, and sad it felt. I had a nervous pit in the middle of my stomach, could barely eat, we barely talked, and it was just it…sort of one of the moments I knew where we were headed, and it was making me sick to think about.
It was probably one of the worst nights leading into the eventual end to our marriage, and for awhile, I just didn’t go back to this particular restaurant (though now I do, and have replaced sad memories with friends and family).
But last night? It was fun, we laughed, we caught up, we joked, we recalled that fateful night, and exactly where we sat. We decided to shake that memory off and replace it with better ones, like last night.
Quite the juxtaposition.
We talked about his birthday this past weekend, and how much fun we had two years ago that same weekend for his mom’s 50th surprise party (a party that my entire family came to as well, two states away), and “did you ever imagine that two years later, we’d be divorced?” Of course, the answer was no, but then we talked about how glad we both are to be where we are together, in our evolved relationship into the friendship we have now. Something that many (okay, MOST!) don’t understand, but something that works for us.
We talked about Nala (he came by to give her a hug on the way to dinner and noted she seemed a little plumper. She is, but today, she is lethargic again, so I have a call in to the vet. Of course, I worry and think the worst, but her antibiotic ran out and it’s super humid and hot here, so I am hoping it’s just a combo of that. Stay tuned…), and our jobs, and summer vacations, and dating (both of us are sort of in stalemate situations, not a heck of a lot happening in that department, but it’s all good).
I’m glad we got together again. I’m glad we caught up. I’m glad we erased that horrible night from our memories and replaced it with a warmer, nicer, more enjoyable one.
And I’m glad we’re friends.
On a side note, hop over to I Used to Have Hair/Canadian Bald Guy’s blog today…he’s on a quest to visit his daughter and is hoping for some help. If you have anything to spare, it’s a good cause. I donated (and yes, donated, not loaned, CBG!) because I never quite had a great relationship with my own dad, and to see how much he wants to foster that with his daughter is refreshing and inspiring and I wish them all the best.