July 2010

As I enjoy my time at the Cathe Road Trip, I wanted to post a poem that actually really hits me from a few sides – it’s all about friendship, and the meaning behind them, why they come into our lives, and sometimes, why they end.

The reason I timed this blog for when I am at the Road Trip is because I have been amazed – almost stunned – by how bonded I feel to a special group of workout friends I have made – IRL from Group Kick, and in the bloggy world (Heather!! and I firmly believe friends truly do come into your life at the most critical and opportune time. This is truly an example of that. I relate to these girls so very much (Steph, you are awesome…while we met during Group Kick “summer camp” our friendship has grown so much more since – goooo half marathon!) and they came in my life for a reason, and I know they’ll be sustained friendships.

The same holds true for a very special group of girls that have remained steadfast by my side through divorce, through the ups and downs of dating, and through life, generally, and those girls, those are some lifetime friends right there. XO my friends, you truly are my family.

Thank you for being a part of my life, whether you were a reason, a season or a lifetime.

Enjoy the poem.


People come into your life for a reason,
a season or a lifetime.

When you know which one it is,
you will know what to do for that person..

When someone is in your life for a REASON,
it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.

They have come to assist you through a difficulty,
to provide you with guidance and support,

To aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.

They may seem like a godsend and they are.

They are there for the reason you need them to be.

Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at
an inconvenient time, this person will say or do
something to bring the relationship to an end.

Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.

Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.

What we must realize is that our need has been met,
our desire fulfilled, their work is done.

The prayer you sent up has been answered and
now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON,
because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.

They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.

They may teach you something you have never done.

They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.

Believe it, it is real. But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons,
things you must build upon in order to have a
solid emotional foundation.

Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person
and put what you have learned to use in all other
relationships and areas of your life.

It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

Thank you for being a part of my life,
whether you were a reason, a season or a lifetime.


Happy quote Friday everyone! Just a quickie from the Cathe Road Trip (we have a quieter day today, though we did kick it off with a wicked hahhhd spin class at the gym, things don’t get rolling till this afternoon though, officially) – today’s quote”

“The only failure is the failure to try”

This one grabbed me today because of how much I try to push, push, push to new levels with everything that I do – and in this case, with this weekend, this signifies my constant interest and pursuit of challenging myself physically (and also mentally) with the workouts and goals I set for myself. It’s something I’ve dedicated myself 10X over since getting divorced, it’s just something that I love and makes me feel alive.

This year already, I am proud of myself for not failing in the face of challenge – when Group Kick got frustrating, extremely hard, and tiring, I kept at it, and passed, when running becomes overwhelming as I try to up my pace to hit the 13.1 miles for the half marathon, I keep at it, and it will come…and when I wake up tired and don’t want to move, getting up and moving actually makes me feel better. And I try my best not to fail, because this is what runs through my veins, this is what I am passionate about and if I’m passionate about it…I won’t fail.

What are you passionate about? What do you keep at and not want to fail at?


Enjoy your weekends everyone and of course I’ll share a recap of the weekend ahead. I’m going to drink it in and enjoy every.last.moment.

We’re off today, folks – a caravan of fantastic friends, including my sister Jess,  our friends sisters Andrea and Jen (this is their second RT), Shannon (her first RT!) as well as Heather (who I am so excited to meet when she arrives tomorrow!!), and friends from last year coming again this year. It’s going to be fun, it’s going to be “wicked hahhhd,” it’s going to be tiring, but it’s going to be memorable and one of the highlights of this summer – and year – for sure.

Here’s a taste of what we’re in for – the schedule!



4:50 – 5:15 PM- Road Trippers change clothes for class.

Join Cathe as she leads us through a grin-filled hour to start Road Trip 2010 with a bang. The energy in the room will blow you away!!!! CLASS FORMAT: 30 minutes of step and 30 minutes of kickboxing (WOO!)

6:15 – 6:45 PM- Time to freshen up!

Our hostess Cathe invites you to join her as we continue the Road Trip kickoff evening in high spirits! After you change into comfy and casual clothes we’ll enjoy lots of yummy food, beverages, prizes, hugs and an introduction to all the fun of your upcoming weekend! Remember to wear ONLY soft-soled shoes (e.g., sneakers or flip flops) in the gym. Also, bring a pair of PJs or yoga-ish clothes for a special treat – our end-of-evening Pajamas Nightcap Stretch Class!

8:45 – 9:00 PM – Road Trippers, change into your Jammies!

9:00 – 9:45 PM – SECOND CATHE CLASS — Pajamas Nightcap Stretch Class

9:45 – 10:00 PM – Road Trippers, QUICKLY gather your gear!




Photographer comes to do one big group shot of the 2010 Cathe Road Trip attendees with Cathe.

8:30 – 8:45 AM Break to grab your water and get ready for class!

Join Cathe as she leads us through a high energy step class followed by killer core. CLASS FORMAT: 50 minutes Step/10 minutes Abs

9:45 – 10:15 AM Break for bathroom, cleanup, change clothes, shop, photo op, autograph op, then split into Groups A and B.

10:15 – 11:15 AM – We’ll split into two groups (A and B) of about 50 people each for the next two hours. As one group spends a little quality time with Cathe, <wicked wink , the other group will have a choice of two activities. Then we’ll switch places!

GROUP “A”: Road Trippers each choose:
• Q&A Info Session with Chris Williams, Cathe’s business partner OR
• Yoga Fit class with Nikki, a staff instructor at FSHS
GROUP “B”: FOURTH CATHE CLASS – Boot Camp…run, jump, pump sweat

11:15 – 11:30 AM Break for Groups A and B to switch places!

11:30 AM – 12:30 PM GROUP “B”: Road Trippers each choose:
• Q&A Info Session with Chris Williams, Cathe’s business partner OR
• Yoga Fit class with Nikki, a staff instructor at FSHS


GROUP “A” : FOURTH CATHE CLASS – Boot Camp…. run, jump, pump sweat

12:30 – 12:40 PM Cleanup break

12:40 – 2:15 PM LUNCH AND…
Ahhhhhhhhhh… After a quick change into fresh clothes, it’s time to refuel with yummy food and refreshing beverages. We’ve included extra time for socializing, taking pics, autograph signing too.

2:15 – 2:30 PM Bathroom/change clothes/shopping/pics/autographs/hugs from new friends

Okay Cathletes, it’s time to put your game faces back on! Let’s finish our day STRONG with another great hour of nonstop fitness. CLASS FORMAT: 30 minutes CARDIO CORE CIRCUIT/ 30 minutes INTENSE UPPER BODY CONDITIONING…YOWSA!

3:30 – 3:45 PM Road Trippers, gather your gear!


4:00 – 6:00 PM Shower and dress in casual, comfy clothes you can move & groove in! Ahhh! That shower feels GOOD!


6:30 – 10:00 PM -FITNESS FEAST ……Plus 15 Minutes Of Fame, and ZUMBA DANCE PARTY AT CATHE’S GYM

AT 6:30pm, Cathe is your hostess once again for a delicious catered dinner. Let’s relax together, continue getting to know each other and give our tired bodies a little rest & refueling before we hit the fitness floor together AGAIN for the night! Yes, you read right, lol….

AT 8:15pm it’s time for 15 Minutes Of Fame. Workout live on the set with Cathe and cast for a quick minute (you can do anything for a minute, wink) and give Cyndi (our awesome RT Cathlete photographer) your camera so she can capture your lifetime memory for you. Don’t worry, you won’t be up there alone, other Cathletes will join you too. But wait there is more.

At 8:45pm, after everyone has had their famous moment captured on the set, we will all head back to the main fitness room for our ZUMBA DANCE PARTY!!!! If you are unfamiliar with ZUMBA, it is the hottest fitness craze sweeping the nation right now (check out ZUMBA.com). I’ve invited guest instructor Gladys (born and raised in Puerto Rico and one of our top instructors here at the gym for 25 years) to come share her ZUMBA moves and grooves with all of us. If you don’t want to ZUMBA, no worries, just enjoy the party!!! The latin passion Gladys exudes while performing is worth the entertainment itself. Bring or wear Sneakers and comfortable workout attire !!!!



Time Activity



C’mon Cathletes, you can do anything for… an hour! Let’s make it a good one! CLASS FORMAT: Lower Body Blast combined with Plyometric bursts….Yes you can!!!

8:00 – 8:30 AM Time for a quick clean-up before the bus comes!


We’ve earned it and now it’s time for some sinfully good New Jersey diner food, and one last chance to take pictures, exchange addresses and phone numbers with new friends, and enjoy some great big hugs!


How bout them apples?! This will be a blast – and if you are REALLY interested, there *might* be a webcam showing some of our workouts (though I can’t promise you’ll see us, there ARE 100 of us!)

I’ll leave you with a pic of a few of us from last year – and many, many more pics and a recap to come. Have a wonderful weekend all! (and I’ll have a few posts up in the next few days too).

And yes, we're wearing our I heart Cathe tanks again this year!

And yes, we're wearing our I heart Cathe tanks again this year!

These are some of the girls coming, and posing with Cathe (center)

These are some of the girls coming, and posing with Cathe (center)

I read a really intriguing post by C over at Leap and the Net will Appear ,(one of my go-to fave blogs and incidentally, I am really excited that she’s a New Englander as we are planning to meet for drinks soon – oh how I love meeting bloggy friends!) on challenging self-image and it inspired me to examine my own self-image and how I perceive myself, and how some of those perceptions have changed – while others perhaps not – in the almost-two years since my marriage came to a close.

While I’ve noted many times that since my divorce, I am more confident, more open (and open-minded) and most of all, much more independent, almost to the point of the polar opposite of how I used to be (at least for me!), what I think I still carry with me as something I “think” I am is shy.

It’s something I rage against so much inside and it’s something I struggle with and bang into walls constantly on – professionally and personally – and while I know I am nowhere near as shy as I was two years ago (and in social and fun settings, SO not shy), and even one year ago (I think dating has actually been huge for me in helping overcome shyness, as well as Group Kick, as noted in the post above, for sure), but it’s still something I label myself as…and maybe that’s exactly my problem.

As C notes that she always thought she wasn’t “outdoorsy” and she’s finding that perhaps she is, much more than she thought, maybe the fact that I label myself “shy” is hurting my ability to get past it. And shyness SO plays into confidence and commanding a room for me that sometimes it feels crippling (yet, thankfully, I don’t think it ever truly shows in a crippling manner).  But it’s definitely on what I’m calling my “mid-year” resolution list – kick this shyness thing for good…at least make some more leaps and bounds against it by the end of 2010. I think I can do it, I want to do it, and for me, it’s a matter of facing it head-on, putting myself into uncomfortable situations (because that therefore forces me out of my comfort zone!) so I can ditch the label for good.

So, I pose the question C posed to her readers (and thank you C, for letting me borrow the topic, it’s a goodie!):

What about you? Do you/did you have preconceived notions about who you are and what you are “into?” Have you challenged those notions recently?

I’m really curious what your thoughts are on the topic, and, if you know me, do you see me as shy? If you have been shy in the past, how did you overcome it?


On another note, I’m so giddy (or, as I noted on Facebook – I’m giddier than meeting the man of my dreams – oh wait… – gearing up for the Cathe Road Trip) for the Cathe Road Trip tomorrow – I’ll be away until Sunday, but stay tuned for some fun workout-and-blog-friend-filled posts in coming days (as much as I can, and/or a recap on Sunday!). This year has so much been about challenges – including as many physical challenges as I can – Group Kick, the half marathon, and this as well – and I can’t wait to enjoy every minute!!

How many times do you have to hear:

“you’ll find it when you’re not looking for it”


“everything happens for a reason”

before you want to just shake everyone who says it and say “but that’s not good enough?”

Sometimes, it’s exactly what I want and need to hear, other times, it feels like a “placeholder” comment when there is nothing else to say or no other advice but to “wait it out” and sometimes these statements tend to feel empty. And other times still, it’s a comment to something I’ve said IRL or blogged about in a completely humorous or funny way (last night’s post is a great example of a post fully intending to be funny, not serious, and I loved all the comments and feedback, you guys rock!) and I still get those types of comments sometimes and wonder if I just come off the wrong way.

While I completely and utterly believe these statements – I really do – I also think that said too often, or just tossed in “for good measure” tends to get old. Fast. As if I haven’t heard it before, as if I don’t believe it, as if I don’t blog about it (quite!) often. Now, I hope this isn’t coming across as a rant, because I don’t mean it to be whatsoever.

I am thankful to be blessed with a family of IRL friends and family and blog friends that I really couldn’t ask for more. It’s just something I’ve picked up on (and in part as part of a very funny Facebook convo I had last night!) and become much more aware of it. After hearing it so often, maybe I’m just hypersensitive to it to the point that it feels like an insult once in awhile. As in “no duh. I get it. I know it will happen when I least expect it, but can’t I still want for it, or think about it, or talk about it? Is that okay?”

It’s ironic to me that this post idea popped into my head in the last few days considering that my dating life really isn’t at the top of my mind at the moment. I’m not even really harping on it in my head, I’m trying to release as much as possible, and well, I’m just busy enjoying my summer, and that’s clearly helping too…but I think this topic and these statements are universal to a lot of situations – to loss of job, to divorce, to break-ups, to friendship woes, to financial strains, and yea, to finding love…but I hope anyone reading this actually can relate and agrees…am I off-base? Am I being too sensitive?

**To be honest, I actually had this idea for a post to be completely humorous, because I know there are many cliches that everyone says and hears all the time and it becomes a running joke, but this turned into a post that I ended up thinking more and more about…and the more I think about it, the more the worrier in me wonders if anyone will even “get” what I mean. I hope you do. It’s just an observation. It’s definitely NOT meant at anyone, as I would never, ever blog on something that should be spoken directly to someone if that were the case. So, after reading, I hope you still love me, friends!**

Okay, so I *thought* today was the one year “date-o-versary” since my very first date post-Pete (can’t say post-divorce since we were still technically married), but it was actually July 28 (see here and here)…however, I’ve been excited all day to revisit my man audit that I’m jumping the gun and posting anyway…how do you like them apples? 😉 It’s the little things that get you through the day, right?

So, I’m reposting my initial man audit (note snarky new comments in bold) and adding in the others I dated after I posted this in January:

Here goes!

  • Boy #1: The first boy I went on a date, started at a semi-chance meeting at Starbucks and to one date (there was supposed to be a second, but uh, HE stood me up! Never heard from him again.) after that. He was nice, but looking back, I think I really opted to go out with him because he was the first one to show interest on match.com. He wasn’t my type looks-wise, we didn’t have a heck of a lot in common, and he was pretty boring (funny how hindsight is, isn’t it?!). Fail. Um, I must say, my blog post on my very first date was so short – I really had nothing else to say after a decade of no dates?! Wow.
  • Boy #2:  He was a cutie, was into MMA and boxing, had a good sense of humor. Good chemistry on our date, and we were going to have a second, but alas, an ex reappeared in his life and – thankfully – he was honest about it. No hard feelings. I liked that he was into being active, however, he was more on the scrawny side, and I almost felt bigger than him! As odd as that sounds…and I’m not really into that. So, while cute, nice eyes and smile, he sorta had small hand syndrome and for some reason, that skeeves me. Just sayin’ ;) Small hands still skeeve me out. I actually look at pics in profiles to see if their arms are super skinny or really small hands, just creeps me out – no idea why.
  • Boy #3: Not much to report here – he ended up being a non-starter. We had a date planned, but then he canceled, as he met someone else two nights before and felt he needed to give that a chance. Again, appreciate the honesty (he was cute, worked nearby, but I was sensing scrawny arm syndrome just a smidge hehe) Still appreciate the honesty and wish more men were upfront.
  • Boy #4: Had a date planned, he canceled, never called again. He was cute, we chatted once on the phone, and that was that. You win some, you lose some. Meh.Fail.
  • Boy #5: K, a little confusion here – some of my posts refer to “diamond boy” as #4 and #5, so I must have confused my numbers in some posts, but we went out once, and he’s still kicking aroumd, actually. He’s divorced, and totally enjoying the single life, so I definitely don’t see that going anywhere, however, he is intriguing and if he were, say, to want to go out again, I would probably go. He was very good looking, loves to travel, muscular (but not in a meathead way), runs, loves wine. Lots of my “list” items physically and activity wise. Too bad he’s got a bit of the playa vibe. For some reason, this one *still* intrigues me, and we keep in touch loosely, but have never made plans again, see aforementioned playa vibe. I get it, but I’m still intrigued. And hey, he was pretty hot (right, IntrigueMe?!)
  • Boy #6: Hmm. this is a mystery. I can’t find posts on boy #6. I really wasn’t paying attention to numbers, was I?! Good thing I am not a math major. Stay tuned…wow, I’m bad at math.
  • Boy #7: This was sort of a milestone one for me. We went on two dates. He was also recently divorced. Very good looking, workout-a-holic (slight meathead, but it wasn’t annoying, like that usually can be) and seemed to be a genuinely nice guy. We had a great first date, and on the second date, we had dinner at his place and there was some activity (I won’t get into details but you can probably connect the dots…) and after, sometime that week, got got weird, stopped calling and left me a random Facebook email, basically ending things. Jerk. What did I learn? Hot guy. Yes. Seemed nice. Yes. Between the lines.  Coupla red flags. You live, you learn. Amen. Live and learn. Never again.
  • Boy #8: This guy – he’s the male nurse. We went out once. He was quiet, a bit shy, good looking though, VERY close to his brother and family. Really dug that, and would have gone out with him again. We chatted about it a few times, and then it meandered past Thanksgiving, and by that point, I’d met boy #9. I’m convinced that boring is the kiss of death. This was proof…more to it than posted here, but he didn’t really do much. Didn’t hang out with friends, or do much but go to work and go home. I dunno, that’s sort of a non-starter, right?
  • Boy #9: Brainy Blonde. Reading through the posts makes me a bit nostalgic, I’m not gonna lie. I liked him a lot, and he was a good guy. He had a lot of qualities I liked – intellectual…a real thinker, close with his family, loves cats, great job, driven, and, to top it off, he volunteers at a shelter. And he was cute, we had great chemistry and conversation. You probably notice some qualities from here on my list. He had quite a few. I still wish things had progressed with him. He was a really good guy. He’s still with the chick he ended things with me for (that looks like his sister, I mean, that’s weird, but I digres), so I’m glad he made that decision, since clearly it was the right one, but still. Sometimes I wonder…what if.
  • Boy #10: The Russian! The only guy so far that I’ve dated from OK Cupid. We went on four dates. He was dark and intriguing. We had good chemistry, he liked to work out (however, for the amount of working out he claimed, I wasn’t that impressed. Wow, I sound like my bar is set really high on this physical feature, but it’s really not, I swear!). The only guy where I ended things. We just weren’t looking for the same things long term. Ha – the Russian aka IGOR. Yep, still can’t believe I went out with an Igor. Now, looking back, I don’t think I would have gone out with him again. Weird how hindsight does that.
  • NEW – Boy #11 – Captain Blue Eyes aka CBE – my closest ever to relationship status since I started dating. I blogged a lot about him, for many reasons. He was the oldest guy I’ve dated – 41 – he was completely different and unlike anyone I’d ever met – hence, totally out of my comfort zone, and he was challenging. We dated for a few months until he went all “The Secret” on me weird, as I noted before. I’m glad I ended things, but I do wish him well. Just not with me.
  • NEW – Boy #12 – aka ‘10 seconds’ – via OK Cupid. Um no. ‘nuf said.
  • NEWBoy #13 (aka boy #3 from chemistry.com – yea, my number system needs help, hear that Snark?!) – we went on three dates. First date, wasn’t sure about chemistry, second date, felt more chemistry, third date, no chemistry confirmed (ironic given we ‘met’ on chemistry.com, no?). We actually still keep in touch on email here and there. He’s a really nice guy, but just not for me, that way. And he kinda doesn’t do much either. Sort of puzzling. Get out! Enjoy life! There’s lots to do in the summer, even on your own.
  • NEW –  Boy #14 (aka Southern Boy, from OKC – and yes, wtf happened with numbering? Must rethink this going into year 2!) – This one started out SO promising, given how much hell it took me to GET to this date, and how much of a southern gentleman vibe I sensed. We got together a couple times, sort of last minute, and hung out, but never really “went out” again. There was obvious chemistry, and I think if his mind were in the same place as me, in terms of something more serious vs. casual, then maybe things could go further. But I just don’t ‘get’ that from him. So, for me, a no-go.

Phew. There ya have it, folks. My first year of dating, done and recapped here, in all it’s up and down glory! Now, what are some of the things I take away from this? Here are a few fun things and a few serious…

  • My most favorite first date? The ZOO, with Brainy Blonde. That was a lot of fun. Worst date? 10 Seconds, need I say more?
  • Biggest ‘red flag’ or trend I can spot better now and know that 99% of the time, it usually means “let’s be casual aka let’s enjoy our ‘chemistry'”  No comments from the peanut gallery, please 😉
  • It’s okay to take your time finding the right match – online or otherwise. Getting into dating in the beginning, I almost felt I needed to work fast to set up a date for fear that the guy would lose interest. Not sure why I thought that because if he did feel that way then a) wasn’t meant to happen anyway and b) um, impatient much? No thanks.
  • I’ve learned so much about what I like and what I don’t, and that there’s a whole lot of gray area in between. In other words, I know there are things I’ll find in a man that I never knew I even wanted.
  • I’m excited to move forward into “year two” of this journey and hope to find what I’m looking for…organically or online. Whatever is meant to happen, will.

Hope you enjoyed the man audit revisited and stay tuned – hopefully – for future dates, and a better numbering system, wow that was hard to follow 😉

As yet another glorious weekend starts coming to a close, I’ve been re-reading some of the great advice from all of you, after I posed the question “what’s the best advice you ever got?” and I thought I’d reflect on some of these today.

From Ronda:

You will grow into some friends and out of others, and that’s alright. – A thousand times yes to this one. I’ve quite recently experienced just this – growing out of friendships – and it IS okay, and far too many hold on to friends that aren’t quite friends to them in return, that are more work than fun, and are no longer mutually satisfying. I say, purge those poisonous friendships!

From Magnolia:

Don’t ignore your problems, but just keep walking through them. you don’t have a choice; you either keep moving, or you die. – I learn this lesson quite often actually…I tend to ignore issues or problems that will result in confrontation and while I’ve gotten better at it, sometimes it just feels easier to push it out of my mind and it’ll ‘go away.’ Uh, notsofast. So, I am making more of a conscious effort to face my problems head on and find resolutions so I can keep walking forward.

From IntrigueMe:

Pick your battles. – wow, I need to keep this one posted to my forehead, like whoa! I let stuff nag at me and bug me to no end, when usually it is just that – little, insignificant, nothing, really – and it totally ruins my mood, distracts me, or if it’s a battle that I end up fighting and it would have been better to walk away from, I come to realize that only after, and that is almost as frustrating as letting the little things bug me in the first place. Wow, that was a ramble, hope you followed along 😉

From verybadcat:

All you can do is play the hand you’re dealt the best way you know how. – Exactly. You can’t always change the crappy hand you get, but you can face it, and know that if you can get through it, the next hand might be just that much better. Here’s to hoping.

From Nicki:

Wherever you are, that is where you are supposed to be. – This one gives me chills. This is one I need to think of and truly seer into my memory when I am having a pity party day. This is something I need to remember that love is out there for me. This is just what I need as my motto.

So, thank you my friends, for some fantastic advice. I enjoyed each one, and I hope you did too.


It’s been a great weekend, folks, with rockclimbing a huge success (and uh, a super cute guy instructing us – be still my heart…of course I didn’t have the balls guts to figure out if he was single, but hey, if HE were actually interested, he could find my number. Just sayin.), and some fun in the sun, all mixed in with much-needed relaxation, a smidge of shopping (and packing) for the Cathe Road Trip coming up this Thursday – Sunday (and I am SO EXCITED it’s not even funny…) to round out my weekend. Hope your weekends were filled with fun and laughter.

PS – I changed my header pic – this is the lake, on that early morning in July before we drove home…love how it looks!

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