So, on the eve of my first trip “upta camp” to the lake in Maine, I decided to look at my posts from last June (in part to see when my first date post-divorce was, as I seem to recall it was around this time last year – I’ll get back to that in a sec!) and noticed a few things about my blog then, and my blog now.

My posts were super short...which is okay, but I guess I didn’t realize that I hadn’t really found my “groove” yet (I started my blog last February 2009) until later in the year, maybe.

My posts weren’t very emotional. Maybe I’ve gotten more emotional or emotive as my blog has continued to progress, but I actually think this blog has given me the opportunity to figure out how to express my emotions and what they really mean. Hummm…imagine that, huh?

My posts about dating weren’t that descriptive! This was my first post on my very first date in over a DECADE, and that’s all I had to say? Seriously? Wow…ya’ll would have been bored with that one now, me thinks šŸ˜‰ (no wonder I didn’t get many comments on my posts for the first 4-6 months I was blogging…just sayin’)

Okay, that was a digression, in part, on the purpose of my blog post tonight, but relates, so follow along, mmk?

As I ready myself for a much-needed, much-anticipated long weekend in Maine to celebrate the fourth of July with my family (somewhat at the last minute, as I wasn’t sure if I was going to head up, given Nala’s health, but as the vet okay’d her to come with me, I’m bringing them up for the very first time…that ought to be interesting in itself, my cats HATE the car, so two hours of meowing ought to be a real treat. not.) including both of my sisters and brother-in-laws, and my mom and her boyfriend and my grandparents (who live up there), I think back to my first trip up last year – just about this time then. I was afraid that it would feel different or lonely without Pete there, since we had such a fun time up there anytime we went up.

And now, instead, what am I thinking about?

The fact that this time last year is just about when I started dating for the first time.

What’s different now?

I’m still dating.

I guess I thought by now, almost a year later, I’d be with someone. And I know – release – but it was a reminder that as much as things have changed for me personally and emotionally, in a way, so much has stayed the same. But, with those mixed emotions and want, I feel as though I am on the cusp of a new chapter in my life, and that feels good and right and exciting. I’ve come damn far, and I’ve got so much in front of me, that while a lot has stayed the same, a lot has changed and I wouldn’t change it for the world.

See…releasing. Sort of. šŸ˜‰

Advertisements