Dear Blog,

I have a confession to make. I rejoined match.com and didn’t tell you.

I’m sorry, really, I am.

No, I’m not.

I just wanted to give it a whirl and see if there was really any potentials before even mentioning it. And in my pursuit of writing for me, I’ve decided it’s time to confess, rather than wait for any of the potentials to turn into dates (which was my initial idea). I was afraid you’d all balk, and that you’d say “let it happen organically,” “let go of control,” “when it’s meant to happen, it will,” or “online dating is for the birds.”

Well, even if you do say that, that’s okay, because I’m doing this for me, and only me, and if anything comes of it – great – and if nothing does, well, that’s okay too.

It’s been almost a year since I’ve been on match (give or take a few months), and in looking back at when I first took the plunge into online dating, I’ve changed a lot.

I’ve never been more sure of myself, my must-haves (even if I can’t always articulate them neatly, I know them, and I don’t know anyone that can truly articulate what they want, because once you have “it” you just know. I firmly believe that).

I’ve never been more confident that he is out there and that I’m worth it. No compromises.

I’m more picky in terms of those I consider, and those I don’t, in large part because of the must-haves and the ‘no compromises’ attitude.(No more almosts, long shots or “we’ll see’s)

I’m going in with eyes wide open, I know the ‘red flags’ for those that aren’t serious, that only want something casual, or worse, a hookup, and how to avoid them before they start (at least I hope I have at least learned that much!)

I’m also going in with no expectations and being realistic that this may just keep me occupied for a bit, and not turn into anything.

And I’m still okay with that.

I’ve been asked why I keep going back to the online dating thing, or why I keep going to back to “dating” in general, rather than just doing the wait-and-see-approach.

Well, simply put,Β  I actually like to date for the sheer fact that it keeps me out of my comfort zone. I have to meet new people, talk, confront, discuss, figure out if there’s chemistry, act on said chemistry if it is there, and if there isn’t, or if it just isn’t a match, determine that.

It’s a learning process for me.

And yeah, it’s keeping me “busy” so to speak. If the right one comes along – either online or “organically” – that would be amazing, and if it doesn’t, well, I still win. I am learning.

And that keeps me inspired when day to day life becomes truly uninspiring sometimes.

I don’t mind kissing a few extra frogs (or cute frogs – hey, I’m all good with that too! Hey, it’s been awhile, don’t judge!) either, because that just means I’m one step closer to him. To love.

Right?

Okay, I feel better. Confessed. Onward. (and more on potential dates when they actually turn into something. Don’t want to jinx myself now, do I?).

Warmest Regards,

Jolene-the-Overthinking-Ollie

~~

On another note, I am meeting C tonight from Leap and the Net Will Appear! Yay!! Can’t wait – more on that tomorrow, likely πŸ˜‰

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