I’ve recently had an a-ha moment on a new dealbreaker that I guess I didn’t realize *was* a dealbreaker.

Until my non-chemistry dates with boy #13 (I never “named” him, per se) and more recently, with “Massage Boy” last week.

I don’t want to be your life.


I have my own life and he should have his own life, my opinion. That’s my ideal. And not only is it my ideal, I am realizing it is a dealbreaker.

Don’t get me wrong – I want to share a life with a man, I really do. But I also want to know that he’s got it going on, with friends, and family and hobbies and stuff he likes to do. Because I do, and I don’t want my life to become HIS life, or vice versa. I don’t think it’s the healthiest way to start a relationship, and I think it could potentially be the kiss of death for any sort of independence and a solid relationship either.

I have a feeling I might get mixed reactions on this new-found dealbreaker – some may agree, some may think it’s harsh or nitpicking so early on. But for me, it screams warning sign.

For example. Massage Boy has been texting me ad nauseum ever since our date, like constantly. About random stuff. Not even a conversation. Stuff like “wow, this is a good chocolate shake.” or “is it weird that I am watching Shrek right now?” (at 11 pm on a Saturday night…). And he has zero plans for the long weekend. (the texting thing is a little annoying in itself. I don’t mind texting. I like it, but not as a random stream of conscious thoughts that don’t even really relate to me at all.)

Really? NO plans? Nothing?

I mean, I am ALL for a free weekend to catch up on life, but a long weekend? I like to get out, enjoy it, socialize. To me, it just seems odd not to have one iota of anything planned.

Is that weird?

I don’t want to be your life. I want to share our lives, but not be it.