Doctor Boy’s got the dig factor down.

Like whoa.

And in a small way, that scares me.

And in another big way, it keeps a huge grin plastered on my face.

The “dig factor” is something I realized was a must-have for me when things ended with CBE. And that most certainly has not changed in the slightest, but now that it seems to be prevalent in everything Doctor Boy does, I realize a) he’s most definitely more than “just” potential, he’s the real deal…and b) it scares me a little that someone could “dig me” so much already. And it scares me because this is a whole new world for me, one that I haven’t yet encountered, and it’s brand new unchartered territory that I can take control of…and maybe that’s the part that scares me a little.

I feel like I have control of where this goes. And I don’t say that in a “he’s wrapped around my little finger” way, but I just say it in that I know exactly where he stands, how he feels and where he wants things to go, and I’ve never had that much clarity in anyone I’ve met since my marriage ended.

And I dig that.

Like whoa.

He’s got the whole package for me right now, and I never thought I would find that quite so soon (odd to say “soon” since it’s been almost two years on this quest for love) but I am embracing the “scared”, because it is a healthy, happy, and excited emotion, not a scary one, it just means I am out of my (new) comfort zone.


Moving away from “just” me towards something potentially grander. It’s exciting, it’s what I want, and it’s what I am ready for.

But it’s still change.

And I find myself processing that change almost as often as I float across cloud 9, with every email, text, or BBM from him that includes something sweet, something thoughtful, or just about anything from him, because I am not used to having someone around that cares for me.

It’s the dig factor, like whoa.

And I dig it. (even if it’s scary).

(and yes, I know this post probably sounds uber rambly, but this is my stream of conscious way of blogging out what’s all jumbled in my brain.)