After two more celebrity splits this week and in particular, Christina Aguilera’s split from her husband, I ponder the comments she made (well, either she made, or the media has portrayed her to say…one never knows what’s legit these days) about wanting to find herself as she got “lost” in her marriage.

Mark my words.

I will never “lose” myself in my next relationship. Or any relationship or future marriage (never say never…).

To me, that would be the most tragic and unfortunate thing that could come out of a relationship or marriage. I think it is just so important to have a distinct identity, enriched life, and singular interests, whether you are in a relationship or marriage or on your own. I know that it can be extremely easy to just fall into step with a significant other or spouse, so much so that there is no “you,” there is just “us” and while I think it is important to have similar interests and social life, but I think it is almost more important to have your own interests and friends too. It’s healthier, it’s more enriching and I think ultimately, it makes for a stronger, happier relationship overall that is likely more successful as well.

I ponder this particularly as I am feeling more and more as though things with Doctor Boy are leading towards relationship (swoon!) and I’ve worked so hard to reshape the “me” I am today and my life is filled with family and friends and “me” time, that I wouldn’t ever want to lose that for a relationship.

Don’t get me wrong. I am in near-awe that I am even uttering the word “relationship” and “me” in the same sentence where it is close to reality and feeling so blessed to have met someone that I actually feel that way towards. It’s what I have wanted and waited for so patiently. But I also know that I want to take my time with it, really focus on integrating my “me” life with the potential “us” because that’s who I am, it’s what I recognize as a priority, and it goes so hand-in-hand for my quest for balance.

…of course, given I haven’t seen Doctor Boy in 2 1/2 weeks and now won’t see him until Sunday (not Saturday night as his flight gets in much later than he thought), I will want to spend some extra time with him next week (swoon), but the bottom line is this: No matter what happens, the “me” will not change, the “me” will just be even more life-enriched and happy and I can’t wait to try that on for size, quite honestly. Sounds pretty fantastic, doesn’t it?

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