Last night, I showed Doctor Boy my “I want” post from August – probably one of my most commented on posts and one I am most proud of, as it really captures my feelings like no other post really has (and your feedback blew me away!).
I didn’t show him my blog, just the content of that post (even though I can trust him not read it) and he absolutely loved it. Every word. He told me I am an amazing writer and he’s proud of my work and how many people love what I have to say.
That made my heart smile.
But beyond that, the reaction I had re-reading the post itself was eye-opening.
I almost cried.
Because I realized as I re-read my words that nearly all of those “wants” have been fulfilled by my relationship with Doctor Boy. He is the one I have been looking for, and he is the one that has filled the empty space in my heart that I wanted to fill up more than anything.
Reading this excerpt:
I want to feel loved. Deeply. Soul- and heart-thumping love. Love that is unmatched and unrivaled and unbreakable. Love that means it doesn’t matter if I live in a cardboard box, or on the other side of the world, even. Love.
I want to touch his skin, feel his warmth, his love, his arms wrapped tightly around me, that spark, that passion that only two people deeply in love feel and can capture in an instant. I want to feel wanted. I want to feel needed. I want to feel adored.
I want a best friend. A companion. A lover. A man. The man I’ve been waiting for. I’m sick of waiting. And I’m sick of hearing that I need to be patient. I just am. I know I shouldn’t, but I am. It’s been too long dammit. I deserve this.
Couldn’t be more true.
He looked at me after reading the post, just stared. Smiled. I saw the love. I could feel the love. It was palpable. It was a moment of magic, and as he kissed me, I knew more than ever, without a shadow of a doubt, that I am in love with this man. Absolutely in love.