Yes, I’m happy. Yes, I think happiness is a choice.

For me.

If it’s not the way you see it, that’s okay, but for me, it’s a choice, and nobody can take that away.

Nor can or should anyone discount what I’ve gone through in the past (lots of sadness, pain, struggles and yes, even anger) because I’m happy now.

I think know I deserve it.

I have bad days.

Craptastic days.

Days where I’d rather run away and hide and just forget the stuff I don’t want to face.

I hate conflict. I hate public speaking. I hate (lack of) money. I hate budgeting my spending and worrying about bills. I hate looking in the mirror and just seeing flaws. I hate feeling shy and unconfident sometimes.I hate that I don’t know what my next step is. I hate floundering.

I’m not perfect. I have a sarcastic side. I have a potty mouth (shocking, I know). I’m not PG-13.

But the way I write is what I feel and how I like to convey my feelings…thus, puppies and rainbows.

I get frustrated when I stop writing for me and just write for my (perceived) audience. This is my blog dammit, I write for me, and need to remember that.

But what do I love about being a ‘puppies and rainbows’ blogger?

Connecting with bloggy friends that “get” me (you know who you are, Ronda, IntrigueMe, T, Sunshine, Marisa, Magnolia and others).

Capturing a moment, or a thought, or happiness.

…on a regular basis (because dammit, my life feels pretty damn good right now, despite moments of craptastic-ness).

Reading and responding to each and every comment (even if I don’t agree with the comment).

Realizing quite a few of my IRL friends read my blog. When I get a private note, or it comes up in conversation. Knowing I can connect with my friends based on what I am thinking or experiencing means so much more than I ever thought it would (because I never really thought many of my friends would read it, for whatever reason).

Re-reading my favorite posts, and my posts on Doctor Boy. Because they make me smile.

Reading my go-to blogs every day (or as often as possible) and skyping with them too. Truly connecting.

Being honest and open and as direct as possible…

Writing for me. Writing for me. Writing for me.

Remember that, will ya?