Well, this is it.
My very last post for To Be Determined.
After today, I am going to dedicate my time to my “evolved” blog and though I am looking forward to it, I am nostalgic as I wish I could take this “home” with me to my new home. But for now, I will just visit it every so often, look back at the almost-three years worth of blog posts on my life and what I’ve accomplished.
It almost brings tears to my eyes to think back at where I began to where I am now. I never want to let her go…that scared, fragile, heart-broken, weak, sad and sometimes angry person I was…because I learned so much from her, and how I could turn those negative characteristics and emotions into strength, resilience, perserverence, happiness, and a (usually) abounding sense of perspective.
I’m proud of her ,and who she’s become. And while I am letting her go in favor of the me I am now, she has shaped me into who I am today. I’m damn proud. I don’t care if this post sounds a bit indulgent…I know it probably does, but after getting through the difficulties of divorce and all of the baggage that comes with it (poor finances, loss of a house, lack of confidence, sadness and loss), I’m not her anymore.
I’m me…renewed.
And I thank you all for joining me in my journey and allowing me to share in yours. Cheers, friends.
“There are things that we never want to let go of, people we never want to leave behind. But keep in mind that letting go isn’t the end of the world, it’s the beginning of a new life.”
~~
*If you would like to follow my new blog, simply leave me a comment here and I will email you the link*
December 23, 2010 at 9:42 am
*hugs* beautifully put! I think it’s so important to remember that woman you were…and cherish the lessons you learned from her. You did it!
December 23, 2010 at 10:13 am
thank you so much! I DID do it! That deserves a t-shirt of some kind, I think 😉
December 23, 2010 at 9:44 am
Awe, this is just so sweet. It is not indulgent at all, you deserve a giant pat on the back and I for one am so thrilled that I ran across your blog when I needed it the most 🙂
December 23, 2010 at 10:14 am
thanks Marisa, I am really glad you found me as I love reading about your story too and hope we meet in 2011 🙂
December 23, 2010 at 9:47 am
Hey Jolene! I would LOVE to follow your new blog! Though I don’t comment often, reading your blog has become a part of my nightly routine. 🙂 Merry Christmas, hope you & doctor boy have a fabulous christmas together.& Best wishes in the new year! -Katherine in Georgia
December 23, 2010 at 10:14 am
hi there! No worries on the multiple comments 😉 I just sent you the link and am happy to be part of your reading routine! Very cool! Have a great holiday and new year too!
December 23, 2010 at 10:16 am
I never want to let her go because I learned so much from her. I’m me…renewed.
TOTALLY speaks to me!! Very well put and cheers for a new journey. 🙂
December 23, 2010 at 10:33 am
Aw, I am so glad!! I’ll definitely cheers to a new journey 🙂
December 23, 2010 at 10:22 am
Aww, you make me want to cry reading this! I’m sad to see “her” go too, and don’t want to let that go either, you’ve become SUCH a renewed person and I’ve thoroughly enjoyed the closeness we’ve formed, even more so than ever before as a result. That’s me being indulgent btw, hope you don’t mind. I can’t wait to see what’s next for you sis, and I have a sneaking suspicion that 2011 is going to be unreal for you. Like whoa. 😉
December 23, 2010 at 10:34 am
thanks sis, you aren’t being indulgent either 😉 I am excited at the next step in life, for both of us 🙂
December 23, 2010 at 10:27 am
Aw, this makes me so happy and yet so sad at the same time! I’m glad you’ll still be around, just with a different name! 🙂
December 23, 2010 at 10:34 am
I know what you mean. I was sad but happy writing this but excited to focus more on the new 🙂
December 23, 2010 at 10:29 am
You should be proud! Most of us here are in the same/similar boat, and we all know what a challenge it is. That you’ve made it through to the other side and come out happy and content with hope for the future is something to be celebrated. Wine, anyone?
December 23, 2010 at 10:35 am
It really IS meant to be celebrated…I’ll cheers to that this evening with Doctor Boy. Who’s with me?! 🙂
December 23, 2010 at 10:34 am
This is wonderful. moving on.. Becoming aware of your state and moving on is all about growth. Way to go! Please keep me posted. Thanks for sharing your journey.
December 23, 2010 at 10:36 am
thank you so much! I will email you a link as well… 🙂
December 23, 2010 at 11:06 am
What a beautiful last post and what a journey you’ve been on and how things have changed. Really glad I found your blog and looking forward to reading more in your new blog.
December 23, 2010 at 4:48 pm
Thank you Susan, so much! So glad you read and I look forward to sharing in this journey with you on the new blog 🙂
December 23, 2010 at 11:23 am
Yes, please send the link! Happy holidays and best of luck in the new year! 🙂
December 23, 2010 at 1:36 pm
Sure, I will send it to you!
December 23, 2010 at 11:33 am
When I read the post the first thought that came to mind was not indulgent… it was *Class*!! You have loads of it… the sky’s the limit for you Lady…
December 23, 2010 at 1:36 pm
Aww, thank you Denyse. You are the sweetest. I think just the same of you!!
December 23, 2010 at 11:48 am
Please send me a link, so I can continue following. 🙂
December 23, 2010 at 1:36 pm
sure! I will email you too!
December 23, 2010 at 4:01 pm
Just wanted to request the link to the new blog…I am one of the silent ones who has been reading all along and recognizing pieces of myself in your journey to help with mine.
December 23, 2010 at 4:48 pm
Thank you! I love a blog lurker 🙂 I can’t believe you’ve been reading all along and haven’t commented, but that’s okay, not everyone does, but I am glad you are reading! I emailed you a link.
December 23, 2010 at 4:44 pm
I would love to add your new blog to the list of blogs I read! I’ve enjoyed reading this one and seeing how things have changed for the best! You deserve to be nothing but happy!
December 23, 2010 at 4:49 pm
hey Kelly! Thank you so much!! I just sent you the link. Merry Christmas!
December 23, 2010 at 6:07 pm
So glad to see you moving into the next chapter of your life, Jolene… I hope that you archive all of your TBD posts so that you can look back on them later and remember the journey and all you’ve overcome. Letting something go is always a bittersweet, but this is life and it has to be done. 🙂
December 24, 2010 at 11:33 am
thank you friend! I plan to keep this one up and will likely read through it on occasion for that very reason.
December 23, 2010 at 9:28 pm
Beee-YOU-teeful!! Just like you!
December 24, 2010 at 11:33 am
Thanks T 🙂 As are you!
December 23, 2010 at 11:19 pm
What a fitting and beautiful end to this journey on this blog! xoxo
December 24, 2010 at 11:33 am
thank you City Girl! I think so, and am glad you are on this journey with me 🙂 XO!
December 24, 2010 at 3:09 am
Good for you Jolene!!! Not indulgent at all- you deserve every bit of happiness and pride for getting through all that you have got through. I am going to try and take a leaf out of your book and make 2011 the year of final forgiveness of myself…Can’t wait to be a part of the new blog and the new chapter(s) of your life. take care and Happy Holidays!!! XJules
December 24, 2010 at 11:34 am
thank you so much!! I really appreciate it. I think your idea for 2011 is a fantastic one – forgiveness is tough but if you can do it, all the better off you’ll be. Happy Holidays!!
December 24, 2010 at 3:04 pm
Great post as usual! I guess I’m a “blog lurker” since I’ve only commented once before, but I would like to continue to lurk on your new blog. Your story and your writing offers inspiration, you should be proud!
December 26, 2010 at 2:19 pm
Oh I love blog lurkers 🙂 Sure, I will email you! And thank you so much for the compliments, very, very sweet.
December 24, 2010 at 3:07 pm
Look forward to following you in the new year. I’ll change the link as soon as you tell me.
December 26, 2010 at 2:20 pm
You can change it any time you wish my friend, thank you! XO!
December 27, 2010 at 9:41 am
Lovely!! I wish u lot of success in ur new blog adventure, that I would like to follow!!! 🙂
Hope u are having great time this Christmas. Big Hug!
December 27, 2010 at 2:05 pm
thank you so much!! Enjoy your holidays!!
December 28, 2010 at 5:42 pm
I just came across your site today, so it looks like I have a lot of catching up to do! What I’ve been able to read so far sounds amazing, and oddly enough applicable to where I’m at and headed in my own life. It’s incredible how many people you can touch just by sharing your own experiences, thoughts, and words. Please send me a link to your new blog. Thanks and journey well!
December 29, 2010 at 9:10 am
Thank you so much! I am glad you like it and I have emailed you a link!
December 28, 2010 at 11:10 pm
I recommend downloading your blog in book form as a gift to yourself. I would love the link…I hope you had a great holiday season. It’s great to close one door and open with a big smile a new one!
December 29, 2010 at 9:11 am
that’s actually a great idea! How does one do that 😉 It’s really great to start anew for 2011. I emailed you a link as well 🙂
December 29, 2010 at 3:10 pm
I stumbled across your blog recently and have been reading it every night and going back to read your older posts. It’s extremely well written and I only wish I had found it sooner. I would love to follow you on your new endeavor if you would please send me the link. Thank you for your admirable honesty!
December 29, 2010 at 4:14 pm
Wow, thanks so much!! I just emailed you a link, hope to see you on the other side 😉
December 29, 2010 at 5:26 pm
Yes, I would LOVE to follow you in your new blog! Uou are so inspiring…what you’ve been through and what you have to teach us all. 🙂
December 30, 2010 at 9:38 am
Aw, you’re so sweet, as always!! I just emailed you the link, sorry about that (though I had you on the list already!)
December 29, 2010 at 11:27 pm
Sorry, I am playing catch up on the reading so I’m a little behind. I am so glad that I have been able to join you on this journey. You have come so far and I am so proud of you. The fact that we are outside blog friends just makes it all that much better. You have been fab and I can’t wait to join you on the next book in your life…because my friend, this is not the end of a chapter…you have started a new book. Congrats to you.
Here is to many more Vegas trips together, wine nights and hopfully a trip sooner than later out east!
December 30, 2010 at 9:39 am
Aw, Shan, that was the sweetest comment ever. I am SO GLAD to share this journey together and to have met you, and can’t wait to meet up again (SOON!) and/or in Vegas! Cheers friend!
December 30, 2010 at 2:05 am
i don’t think i ever got the link..can you send it again 🙂
thanks!!!
December 30, 2010 at 9:38 am
Aw! I’m sorry about that! just emailed you.
December 30, 2010 at 8:21 pm
Bye bye ‘To Be Determined’! I’ll miss you! Now I’m off to play catch-up on your new story…
December 30, 2010 at 9:30 pm
Aww, thank you! Glad you caught up, loved your comments!
January 2, 2011 at 4:25 am
It’s the first time I landed on this blog. I spend a lot of time reading through your previous posts, and I am convinced I want to read what you write! :-0)
Please send me the link of your blog!
Happy new year
January 2, 2011 at 11:43 am
of course! email sent! Thanks for finding me!
January 2, 2011 at 11:36 am
Yes, count me in !
January 2, 2011 at 11:43 am
Thank you! I will send you a link now too! 🙂
January 3, 2011 at 12:42 pm
smokyblu@yahoo.com
January 4, 2011 at 6:58 pm
sent 🙂
January 4, 2011 at 11:05 am
Jolene, it’s KT from When Did I Become a Grown Up? I’m going to start blogging again too and was popping over to give you my new address. Please send me a link to your new blog. Sounds like we are both trying to start a new blog to go with our new selves. Good luck and happy new year!
January 4, 2011 at 6:59 pm
Would LOVE your new blog link! Do share! Glad you are back at it!!
January 4, 2011 at 5:18 pm
This was a beautiful post. Writing in 3rd person really detached you from “her”. May she rest in peace!
Please include me on your journey and add me as a reader to your new blog.
Happy New Year and God Bless!
January 4, 2011 at 6:59 pm
Aww, thank you so much! And thanks for visiting. I sent you an email.
January 4, 2011 at 6:35 pm
hey hey heyyyy, didn´t know u changed already to your new blog!!! Christmas time was so familiar, I hope you had a nice ones. Can you please send me your new link directly to ur new adventures?? 🙂 I would like to follow!! Also I wish you good luck!
January 4, 2011 at 6:59 pm
I did indeed 🙂 And I have sent you an email! Thanks so much!
January 5, 2011 at 12:22 pm
I really enjoy reading your blog and following your journey. Thank you for sharing so much for your life with us. I would love to follow your next adventures…
January 5, 2011 at 12:25 pm
Thank you so much, I appreciate it!! I have emailed you a link, and thanks for joining my journey! 🙂
January 11, 2011 at 2:24 am
Hi Jolene… yes, please… what is your new blog?
I hadnt realized you wound down… totally coincidental I did the same. And for similar reasons… turning a new page, entering a new season.
You know where to find me on the www or at chaz552255@gmail.com
Looking forward.
Chaz
January 11, 2011 at 7:42 am
I know! That’s pretty cool, right? I just sent you an email, thanks for dropping in!
January 18, 2011 at 5:54 pm
I am a male and just started reading through your blog in the last few days…. it has spoke to me, in many ways. I would very much like the link to your new blog — and also the opportunity to talk with you via email, if thats at all possible. You did a really great job with this blog! I enjoyed it.
Brian
January 18, 2011 at 6:15 pm
thank you so much! I just emailed you the new link 🙂
January 18, 2011 at 10:55 pm
Hi Jolene,
I have never posted a comment before, because I read your entire blog- every entry- over the past 2 weeks. I haven’t had time for comments 🙂
I hope you would provide the link to your new blog, I look forward to reading more!
P.S. Don’t know if its coincidental, but I’m a Libra also and I feel as if I’m reading my own journal when you write about your internal struggles. Your blog inspires me to find my own inner peace and security and to be myself!!
January 19, 2011 at 8:33 am
wow, you read the whole thing?! that’s amazing. I’m beyond touched by that and I have sent you an email with the new link. Take care!
January 20, 2011 at 5:13 am
Hi Jolene,
I stumbled upon your blog, and I am so touched by your posts. You write so beautifully. Would love to have the link of your new blog.
Cheers and good luck,
SP
January 20, 2011 at 8:22 am
thanks so much! just sent the link.
January 20, 2011 at 1:40 pm
I’m a new reader of your blog and slowly catching up. I’ve found it very inspiring as well as related to some of the issues I went through my separation and divorce. I would love to read the new blog, please. Thank you
January 28, 2011 at 8:17 pm
Hey Jolene,
I’ve just finished reading this blog all the way through. Took me about a month. Your story is much like mine. I’m in the process of divorce after a 10 year relationship (3 of which was marriage). My story was a little sadder in that I was left for another. Your blog has given me so much hope. You have been a mini-support group. I hope you and doctor boy are happy and I would like to follow you on your journey.
January 29, 2011 at 10:50 am
Wow, thank you so much for reading all of my blog! that’s amazing. I am glad that you have hope…and please do read the new one, I have sent you a link. Take care.
January 31, 2011 at 1:50 pm
Just found your blog & love it. Must have the new address!! Please!
January 31, 2011 at 2:01 pm
thanks for visiting! I’ve seen you ‘around’ others’ blogs I read. Nice to have you. I just sent you an email.
February 15, 2011 at 8:43 am
yes please keep me posted your blog really resonates w/ me and is so inspiring!good luck in the new you/phase
March 4, 2011 at 12:57 pm
My own two year journey has been a beautiful struggle. My thoughts resonate with your words. Thank you for being a voice for so many of us. I would love to view your new blog. Embrace the journey.
April 6, 2011 at 12:41 am
would love to see your new blog. I have just now gotten into reading blogs, and I went through something very similar, at a very similar age…and I am intrigued to read such a mirror image, from the female perspective.
I am not done…i’m sure i’ll go back and read and re-read and go back down my road and see what turns we both took, and how we adapted to them.
thank you for putting this out there- wish I could have found it sooner.
April 20, 2011 at 6:39 am
Just started reading this blog and I would love to follow your new one. Would you please send me the link? Thanks 🙂
May 31, 2011 at 11:09 pm
Enjoyed your blog!
June 14, 2011 at 10:56 am
Nice! Keep on moving forward!
September 27, 2011 at 10:47 pm
Your writing is beautiful, it brings tears to my eyes each time.
Good luck with everything! 🙂
October 10, 2011 at 7:22 pm
Jolene,
I just recently found your blog and am going through something similar with my husband. It’s helped me realize that I’ll make it on my own if that time comes.
I’d love to get caught up on your new blog as well. Could you please send me the link?
Thanks!
February 7, 2012 at 2:24 am
Dear Jolene,
I recently stumbled upon your blog. It is beautiful written and from the few blogs that I have read so far, I can sympathize and understand what must be a small amount of emotions that you have gone through. I would like to read your new blog for inspiration if you can send the link please?
–Jessica
February 8, 2012 at 9:49 am
I’ve loved reading your blog! I’m going through the same thing right now… I hope you still check this as I’d love to start reading your new one… please send me the link…
April 28, 2012 at 12:56 pm
Glimpses of the heart!!! Touching and wonderful. Please send a link to the new blog. Thank you.
May 17, 2012 at 8:04 am
Could you please send me the link to your new blog?
Also, if you could please write a comment here re: any books you found(or any readers could post) helpful books to read during the divorce, I’d appreciate it. I’m just in the beginning stage of it. It is really tough to find divorce recovery/self-help books for people in their 20’s or 30’s who do not have children.
August 27, 2012 at 10:34 pm
Came across your blog somehow-glad I did! I was never married, but was in a very committed 4 yr relationship until he ended it 9 months ago. The pain, I can say is less, but clearly still there since I’m in tears as I write this. I will never know why we no longer are together, but I’m realizing I was perhaps settling & not truly happy and this has to be for the best. Thanks for your story & your help in seeing it gets better. xo
October 14, 2012 at 11:21 pm
Thank you for your inspiring blog. please email me your new blog link.
April 15, 2013 at 8:28 am
Hi I know I’m late, but I would be happy if I could follow your new blog 🙂
March 9, 2014 at 8:48 pm
Hi Jolene, I am also divorced at 29 and am taking the same journey. I was feeling to lost and helpless, but finding and reading your blog is so comforting. To know someone else has been exactly where I am. I would love to see where your journey has lead you and follow you on your new blog!
August 29, 2014 at 11:54 am
I’ve just spent the last few weeks reading your entire blog start to finish, and I have to know where it goes from here! I’m recently divorced, and your blog has been very inspirational to me that it will get better and you can move on to bigger and better things!.
August 29, 2014 at 1:02 pm
oh this makes me so happy…I love when there are people still reading my story, years later ❤ I am honored that you read it all. I will email you a link to my new blog! I wish you all the best!