The fifth – and final – in a series of posts on my dad, growing up with (and without) him, and our eventual reconciliation (one of many).
We agreed to meet at my dad’s house. And there was one major piece of news that he had not yet heard.
Jen was pregnant.
His dream was to be a “Nonno” and he didn’t even know his daughter Jen was, at that point, 4 or 5 months pregnant (can’t recall exactly when this reconciliation was!). Jen decided to use this opportunity to tell him.
I knew it was going to be poignant, but didn’t realize just how poignant it was.
We came over, it felt awkward, a little surreal. He gave us big bear hugs and was glad to see us. Jen handed him a card. He opened it…and slowly started to read…”Grampa? What’s this? Wait…no….who is it?!”
And he opened the card, the sonogram slipped out, and he cried.
Like I’ve never seen him before.
He said “I’m going to be a Nonno?!”
And we cried, and it was perfect. It was as if Baby N had already started to bond us all together, like she has continued to do, to this day. That was the day we reconciled. The first time my dad had ever admitted to being as wrong as he was, for missing a huge chunk of our lives, including Jen’s pregnancy and my divorce (not to mention our 30th birthday).
Now, we have a better relationship with him, albeit somewhat guarded (naturally). It’s been going relatively smoothly, and while I still keep my emotional distance, I think this is the first time my dad has truly learned from his mistakes. I hope that continues to be the case and he becomes the Nonno to Baby N that he never was, as a dad, to us.
She deserves more than that – and I think he knows that. I hope he knows that.
Phew. This was thoroughly therapeutic.
And I realized some things coming out of writing this that I hadn’t seen before. Baby “N” continues to unite our family, a family that has had its share of brokenness at times, and it is the new beginning – the new life – we may need to band together and love this baby like no other. And I, for one, and looking more forward to it than I ever imagined.
On another, lighter note, I have a date tonight!
With a guy from OK Cupid that contacted me a week or so ago. He’s 34, divorced, and seems very “like-minded” to me in some ways, and I dig that. We’ll see how it goes. I feel slightly mixed only because I actually have TWO other potential dates next week with two different guys from match.com. I guess when it rains, it pours?! Stay tuned…and wish me luck tonight!