I’ve had a frustrating day and it’s made me want to just give up, curl up in a ball, and hide.

And then I opened my blog to start a rant of a post, and realized…well, that’s not really being determined as is plastered all over my blog, now, is it?

I can’t give up. I can’t let it paralzye me. I MUST push forward, work through it, and grow because of it. So that’s what I’m going to do, dammit.

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Now that I got my mini-rant/pep-talk out of the way, another reason I’m being determined?

Tomorrow, KICKS off our Group Kick training!! It’s going to be an intense 25 hours of training over the course of Friday/Saturday/Sunday and I cannot wait. It’s going to be difficult, it’s going to be a challenge, I’m going to be way out of my comfort zone, but I’m ready, I’m DETERMINED, and I’ll be posting my thoughts on how it goes (as will my sister!), through the weekend. Wish me luck…and seriously, who IS this person?!

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wings-of-freedom-thumb1894625Wow, what a difference a day makes, and some more perspective. After last night’s post and series of events, I was drained, utterly exhausted. I was stressed, agonizing over what to do about the house, and feeling like there was no end in sight. Fast forward to today and meeting with a real estate agent that specializes in short sales. Now, I went into this feeling like this was still not the right decision and even after leaving the meeting, I was still pretty adamant. And then I thought about it, I drove home, I sat in the yard, by myself, thinking and thinking over dinner. It was very peaceful and I felt clear-headed and not driven by emotion. And I realized – all signs are pointing to this being the right decision for me – I kept fighting it because it seems so wrong and so risky, but with all of the factors I have to weigh, I think it’s the right decision, believe it or not.

And then I checked my email. My weekly newsletter from Anthony Fernando was in my inbox and it was all about minimizing regret:

Often we become paralyzed by analyzing the possible outcomes of a decision and in doing so we waste a great deal of time and mental energy. If you have ever agonized over a decision until you were physically and mentally exhausted you will know exactly what I mean.

A useful strategy to help you make decisions is the concept of regret minimalization.

The aim of regret minimalization is to reduce the number of decisions in life that you end up looking back on with regret.

The steps to using regret minimalization are as follows:

  1. Project yourself into the future and visualize yourself at the age of 80
  2. Imagine that you are looking back on your life
  3. Ask yourself which of the options you are trying to decide between will you be more likely to regret missing out on?

When I read that, I thought, wow, this is it. I need to do this. I have prayed a lot and asked God to guide me through the right decision, and all signs are pointing to this…and so, let the journey begin. It’ll be scary, it’ll have ups and downs, but I need to do what is right for me, and get out of the house, and move on and up. Wish me luck and blessings…I know I’ll need it.

Happy quote Friday everyone! Today’s quote is…

The difference between the impossible and the possible lies in a person’s determination.”

Well, it’s been (un)officially six months since “the situation” started and it feels like a whole world ago. Determination has had a huge part in my ability to pick myself up, slooowly dust myself off, and realize that it IS possible to move on, it IS possible to be happy, and it IS EVEN possible to remain friends with Pete. I am finding that I have had a quiet determination hidden way back in the back of my mind this whole time, and it’s slowly coming to the front, because dammit, I CAN do this and I AM worth it!

Right now, I am in a good place, I have a lot to be thankful for, and I’m more hopeful than ever that the next six months? They will be amazing. I can just feel it.

I ran my first 5K this morning…and while it was definitely difficult, I can’t even fathom having done this before “the situation.” I don’t know why, but running was always my “holy grail” of working out – something I always hated and never wanted to try. Well, this is the new me, trying new things, and pushing myself. And I did it. I’m proud of myself and am inspired by my sister who pushed me to run and to run this 5K, so soon after I even started running.

300_69816I’m committed to keeping it up, and running another race in May, even though I don’t particularly enjoy running, I enjoy the feeling of accomplishment and hey, the body benefits aren’t too shabby either, bathing suit season is coming, after all 😉

Driving in to work today I heard one of my favorite Christina Aguilera songs – Fighter – and listening to the lyrics, some of the words really struck me, as it’s so true:

I wouldn’t know how to be this way now, and never back down
So I wanna say thank you

‘Cause it makes me that much stronger
Makes me work a little bit harder
Makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter
Made me learn a little bit faster
Made my skin a little bit thicker
It makes me that much smarter
So thanks for making me a fighter

I do feel stronger, I do feel smarter, and I do have a thicker skin. Of course, some of her lyrics are about a liar, cheater, etc., and my marriage was thankfully none of those things, but this whole process has really opened my eyes to how much I can handle and that God is always watching and blessing us in ways we never thought possible.

I stumbled across this poem about a month ago and find it very inspiring – for anyone, not just those going through divorce. It says a lot about being determined and never giving up, no matter what life hands you. Goes hand-in-hand with a lot of what Joel Osteen preaches about, too, which I love.

I am including the poem below, but you can also find it here, if you want to print it for yourself!

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
When the road you’re trudging seems all uphill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest, if you must, but don’t you quit.

Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As every one of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about,
When he might have won had he stuck it out;
Don’t give up though the pace seems slow–
You may succeed with another blow.

Often the goal is nearer than,
It seems to a faint and faltering man,
Often the struggler has given up,
When he might have captured the victor’s cup,
And he learned too late when the night slipped down,
How close he was to the golden crown.

Success is failure turned inside out–
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems so far,
So stick to the fight when you’re hardest hit–
It’s when things seem worst that you must not quit.