More and more I feel as though I am exactly where I am meant to be in my life, and it is such a powerful feeling.
In catching up with one of my bestest (formerly known as BDF or best divorced friend but as she’s now re-married, we’ll stick with Ames, to avoid confusion!), I realized (thank you!) that I really am very lucky to be where I am in my life. And maybe “luck” isn’t the right word here, but to feel what I feel for Doctor Boy, and to feel as though I am smack dab where I should be in my life, in my friendships (strong, devoted, close) and in my family (loyal, loving, strong), well, I can’t help but just keep saying it…this is where I am meant to be.
And I feel like I need to keep reminding myself of that – that I am finding my place, and that I have the man, the friends, and the family to prove it – because in a way, I don’t think I’ve really “let” myself let it sink in.
Until last night.
Laying in bed next to Doctor Boy, about to drift off to sleep, as he had just finished telling me how much he loves me, and how much he is looking forward to experiencing life with me, it hit me fully in the face. Looking into his eyes, not feeling an ounce of hesitation, I was in my place. Right there.
And I uttered “I love you” and drifted off to sleep. With a smile on my face, and my heart full of happiness and love.
I caught up with Pete today, after a few weeks of not really connecting with him. I kept meaning to, but we just haven’t had a chance to. (lately, I’m the first to contact him these days, so figured that might be the case now, too.).
He had been seeing someone but turns out they’re no longer dating, and he’s again back in the cycle of singledom, wondering what his next step is. He seemed a little down, but I wondered if maybe it was because he’s still struggling with what he wants in his life right now.
I wonder if hindsight hinders him. Or helps him.
I wonder if he things he made a mistake (I don’t think he did).
And while it makes me glad that he’s happy for me, but in a way, it also makes me sad.
Is that weird?
(more on this topic later…)
It was the kitties’ annual checkup tonight. And while I know Nala has vastly improved since she was near-death a few months ago, a sudden fear crept in me that maybe she wasn’t as heavy as she felt, or as chipper and playful as she is. But when he weighed her, I was floored.
She was 5.5 pounds in July 5.5. And she’s basically double that now, and on top of that? She’s .1 bigger than Kayla (and she hasn’t been as big as Kayla since they were kittens!). I was thrilled. I wanted to jump up and down. The vet even said “I didn’t think she was gonna make it, wow.”
I saw Jen and Isabel yesterday at my dad’s (where Doctor Boy met my dad for the first time…brought him a Cuban cigar, which my dad loves. I think they are BFFs now. Just kidding, but a good seal of approval!). yesterday.
I guess I didn’t realize how much I missed them in the week since she moved home. I was so excited to see them, and holding Isabel, kissing her head and laughing as she cooed, was just about the best thing in the world.
Both are healthy, both are doing better.