As I mentioned in my post yesterday, moving this time around vs. last year felt different in a few ways, and I guess I hadn’t realized how far I’ve actually come since then.

What ways, you ask? Let’s see…

…the power went out during my first night in my new apartment around 2 am. I noticed only as I use a fan for “white noise” (have done that ever since college and it’s a habit that has stuck. It feels “loud” without it going, oddly!) so I woke up when the fan shut off. Instantly, I froze, because my mind likes to play tricks on me (what if someone is trying to break in and they shut off the power to scare me? Because that doesn’t *only* happen in scary movies, right?!), and it felt super dark as the lights outside went out too. I was close to calling my sister or my mom out of habit…but then thought better of it, calmed myself down, and eventually went back to sleep. Of course, I also realized I don’t have any flashlights, so clearly that’s next on my list. But, for me, it felt huge to not immediately freak out (just minor freak out!), though at the same time, it was one of those moments when I was I had someone next to me in bed, but I digress.

…doing all of the bill switchovers for electric and cable myself. I know, that sounds run of the mill, right? But last year, Pete did it for me…out of habit. I asked him if he would, because I hate crap like that, but why do that? I mean, it’s my place, why rely on others – especially him – to do the “big girl” stuff I know very well how to do (remember the bombast incident?! heh.). Check.

…simply settling in, not being afraid, and loving my place…MINE. Last year, it was a whole new transition for me, moving from a house that was OURS to an apartment that was MINE, and now, I am so accustomed to it, and I truly love living alone, something I never thought I’d say. And I truly enjoyed every minute of my solitary day yesterday.

I’m sure there are others, but on a weekend where a year signifies a lot, in many ways, well, what a difference a year makes.

~~

…and guess who has a date with Doctor Boy tonight. Meeee! Woohoo ๐Ÿ™‚ More on that tomorrow…

All moved in – and it feels SOOO good. It feels so different than the first time, last September (stay tuned for tomorrow’s post on some of the a-ha moments I’ve had with this move vs. last, in more ways than one).

I’ve spent a pretty solitary day at home, (on the actual day of my divorcesary), for the first time in quite awhile and it’s actually been awesome! After my spinning class (had planned a 12 miler this morning but when I woke up, I practically fell out of bed, my calves were on fire! Tomorrow the run ensues, I hope!), I vegged around, texted a bit with Doctor Boy, hung up pictures, sat on my patio reading the latest Jack Reacher novel (my fave), 61 Hours, listening to my favorite Pandora channel (Ray LaMontagne, of course!) promptly fell asleep, made some cookies, and had a fun catch up chat with Shannon!

A good day so far, no? (oh and I talked to Doctor Boy and made date plans for tomorrow – yay!). So, without further ado – my new digs…in pictures.

my bedroom, note kitties firmly planted on the bed

my bedroom once again, and where are the kitties? firmly planted.

my bedroom, view of the gym area - fits better than I thought!

bathroom!

Dining area (note pics still not put up...)

Living room area

sitting area (improvised set-up as cable SHOULD be on that wall, but isn't, but I digress)

Kitchen

patio - so cozy!

my view sitting on the patio - bliss!

On a summer weekend that was relatively low-key (save for that 9+ mile run that I am STILL feeling today…I feel like my body was run over by a truck, that then proceeded to back up and run over me again), I’ve made some interesting, newfound self-observations, in part as I think about moving in just about two months (sure, it’s just to a different building in my complex, but it’s still moving…and I am just realizing, my move date is one day after my “divorcesary” on September 11, kind of cool timing.).

Here goes:

  • I claim to be *almost* as type A-clean as my sister Jess, but I think I’m harboring my inner “messy girl.” While I love having a clean home, and it is very clean, with minimal clutter, I actually don’t love to clean. There, I said it. I love the end result, but I hate the process. Sometimes I even half-ass my cleaning – gasp, I know, Jess you are shaking your head in shock, aren’t you? ๐Ÿ˜‰ My “messy girl” totally comes through…in my closets. They’re a mess. Yes, even my walk-in clothes closet. Given they all have those neat contraptions called doors, I can *hide* any mess or clutter I want. Imagine that! (moving will hopefully de-clutter me again…I do love a good de-clutter, though, lest not forget).
  • I hate bridal showers. Okay, so hate is a strong word, maybe I don’t hate them, I dislike the tradition, barring-on-hokiness and stuffiness of bridal showers. I went to one today, for one of my really good friends (my college roommate) in Maine, and as I looked around, I realized two things a) how showers seem to be something you “just do” as you march towards the big wedding day, and b) how obligatory they seem to appear or feel, to an extent. I love celebrating love – don’t get me wrong – I just feel as though the “bridal shower” could stand some evolution. And if I ever marry again – a big if, or at least a big unknown – I will NOT have a bridal shower. I didn’t have one the first time around and I certainly won’t do it the second time around. Just not me.
  • I’m almost certain I’ll go un-traditional wedding again, if I ever marry again – again, a big if/unknown at this point – for the very same reasons. For me, a wedding signifying marrying the (hopefully!) love of your life is such a personal thing that a huge wedding, lots of fanfare and fancy dresses just isn’t me. I am almost certain I would hate every second of it (though, oddly, I LOVE attending weddings! I have a few this summer and though it’d be nice to have a date, I know I will still have fun…and hey, they aren’t till the fall, so maybe I will, who knows…). I joke that I’d be the best fiancee ever…any man’s dream, right? No shower? No wedding? Arm pump, right?!
  • I don’t know how to “sleep in” anymore. I used to love sleeping in, at least till 8 or 9, on a Saturday or Sunday to catch up from the week of getting up at 5 or 5:30, but now, I just don’t know how. Sure, it might be the fact that my kitties (okay, Nala!) loves to wake me up for breakfast in the morning with a “loving” face pat with the paw/claw, but I tend to wake naturally earlier now. Might also have to do with not having someone to cuddle up next to that would make me want to sleep in? Maybe. But I’m leaning more towards my inner clock shifting as I age ๐Ÿ˜‰

So there ya go – a mix of humorous and more serious self-observations that have come to the surface recently. Having some downtime has allowed for that, I think, this weekend, which I really needed. I love the summer for busy jam-packed weekends of fun parties, cookouts, Maine, beach etc., but a lower key weekend without a lot of activity is also much-needed sometimes, to regroup. I’m feeling (relatively) ready to face the week ahead, complete with an afternoon nap today and two sleeping kitties next to me.

~~

Oh, and did I mention only 5 working days until Maine for a 5ish days?! AND that one of my bestest friends – Amy (who needs a new name since getting married last month! The one I spent an ‘epic weekend’ with in Florida in April) opted for an impromptu/surprise visit this weekend so she and Eric will be joining us “upta camp” for 4 of those days? Couldn’t be more excited and touched that they want to visit and spend the weekend with us…and mark my words, it will for sure be another epic weekend. ๐Ÿ™‚

I wasn’t planning to blog today, but suddenly felt the urge to, as I am feeling utterly blessed at this very moment.

I’ve noted how tired I am, particularly financially, and I’ve been weighing my options in terms of my current lease, which runs out on September 27 (amazing that I’ve almost been living in my first “me” place since my divorce!) because it will be going up by $100 and I’m already feeling strapped as it is, as my rent is at the high end of my budget. At the time, last fall, this was the one place I truly loved and felt as if it was my new home – it just felt that way when I walked in.

It’s a 2 bedroom, 2 bathroom townhouse and I really do love it. It’s plenty big, and I really dig sleeping upstairs, since in my old home, it was a ranch, so all bedrooms were floor-level and I just never quite felt safe sleeping alone. But, with the rent increasing and my ongoing financial struggles, I’ve been really debating moving into a 1 bedroom unit here, instead and merging my home gym into my bedroom. That would be a compromise, of course, cramming it all into one (if you’ve seen my home gym, you’d know it kinda needs a whole room to itself!) but my bedroom is plenty big, so I thought it could work.

Only issue?

There are NO one bedroom units available. In fact, there are only 19 one bedroom units in the 200+ complex.

My hopes felt dashed when I realized that earlier this week, and I started to think about other options.

A roommate? Ugh, no. I need my privacy. I love my privacy. Not going to happen.

Move to an apartment vs. townhouse, that will likely be cheaper. An option, yes, but one of the big reasons I went townhouse was to have it still “feel” like a house. I’ve never lived in an apartment – and I realize I am lucky to have only lived in houses (at my mom’s house until I bought my house with Pete in 2003) – but every apartment I visited, I felt locked into, not many windows, no grass out front, so not a house. So, it was an option, but I wasn’t feeling too happy about the idea of moving to an apartment.

Either way, for me, weighing the options and the level of compromise were bringing me back to just sucking it up and trying to find a way to cut other things from my budget so I don’t feel so strapped all the time. For me, my home is the one place I don’t want to compromise so heavily that it affects the quality of my life.

Fast forward to just now.

I got an email from my leasing office. There is a one bedroom available. On September 12…my lease is up September 27 and they’ll let me out of it a few weeks early.

And it’s $200 cheaper per month than my current lease.

Wow.

I feel blessed.

Everything truly DOES happen for a reason and I firmly believe God is playing his hand for me here. I feel so blessed. That, combined with Nala continuing to improve, and wow, I’m at a loss for words. If all goes according to plan, I’ll be moving units on September 12.

Lord, I open my heart and invite You to work in every area of my life. I bless You and thank You for Your faithfulness, In Jesus Name. Amen.

~~

And did I mention I ran almost 10 miles today? Um yeah, ME! Woo-freakin-hoo!ย  Wicked Half doesn’t seem AS wicked after that accomplishment (even though I’ve felt tired and back-achy all day ever since! Worth it.)

Wow, it’s been a LONG 36ish hours or so. Moving is no joke…I’ve never quite experienced a full-on move, to be honest, as when we bought our house, I moved from my mom’s house and didn’t have much stuff. Well, I have a LOT OF STUFF now, apparently. We didn’t even fit it all in the 14 footer I rented, and had to take THREE more car fulls afterwards. I do have to thank Pete SO much for all of his help. He was awesome, and so helpful throughout the day, never complained and even put together my stuff from IKEA (and is coming by tonight to finish the job!), and didn’t leave till after 10. It was nice, actually, to spend the day together and just talk like two friends – it wasn’t awkward, it wasn’t sad (though I did cry when I saw the house empty! just sort of hit me), it was normal and it felt like this is exactly where we should be, in life, and in our evolving relationship.

…we even talked about our dating/sexual lives post-marriage, which was a little interesting (I can just see half of you shaking your heads in awe, and the other half thinking “she’s sharing too much!”), but also felt completely normal. We talked about dating, we talked about what we both want in future relationships, we teased each other (me on his GF, him on boy #7), it was just funny.

…and speaking of boy #7 (yes, I realize this post is rambling, but I’m trying to cover a lot of bases I haven’t been able to in the last few days!) – Sunday was a fantastic evening!! He made me dinner (swordfish, veggies and whole grain pasta), we had wine (I tried ice wine for the first time – sweet, but good “dessert” wine), we watched a REALLY strange comedy (Sex and Death 101 – STRANGE but oddly intriguing!), and we um, had a bit of “fun” afterward…and I’m a lady, so I won’t share details, but I will say, he works out (a lot), and it shows, and he has a few tricks up his sleeve ๐Ÿ˜‰ Hope to see him again soon, so he can see my new place!

And, on that note, I’ll end tonight’s blog as I am back to unpacking, organizing and getting myself situated. But I finally feel home.

~~

By the way, the fourth installment of my SinceMyDivorce interview has posted, and it’s super timely – all about selling the house and moving on. Give it a read – Mandy has some good words of advice, and thoughts on going through a similar situation.

it’s go time!! Moving day!! I am beyond excited this morning, yet a touch nostalgic too. Sitting in my dining room, on a gorgeously mild fall morning. I took my last run here this morning as well, and will miss it, it’s a very pretty route. I’ll keep this short, but came across a great quote that I couldn’t help posting today (yeah, I know, it’s not quote Friday yet!)

“The past cannot be changed, the future is yet in your power.”

Exactly how I am feeling right now! Ready to take control of my future, starting today. Bring it!!

~~

For another post this week..stay tuned for details on date #2 with boy #7…we connected, we laughed, we drank wine…there may have been some kissing ๐Ÿ˜‰

and I’m just about finished packing, with 48 hours or so to g0. Hard to believe I have THAT many boxes for just me, plus minimal furniture to move since I’ve given Pete some of it and gotten rid of some of it as well, and that five years equates, now, to 41 boxes. I get a little reminiscent thinking about the time I’ve spent in this home, but seeing it basically empty, devoid of memories, it feels so much like the past already. Strange how packing and getting rid of certain things that can accelerate that feeling of attachment, sadness or sadness to see something go.

It’s actually feeling more and the more the opposite, especially as I look forward and see so MUCH to look forward to, near- and long-term, and I think I’m finally, officially, 100% ready to kick this house to the curb (no longer my home), start the next phase of my life, and never look back, never think twice, and always know, deep down, that this was the right decision for me. I feel completely sure of that, no what if’s, no wondering, no nothing. This is it, it’s (almost) go time!!