Doctor Boy’s got the dig factor down.
Like whoa.
And in a small way, that scares me.
And in another big way, it keeps a huge grin plastered on my face.
The “dig factor” is something I realized was a must-have for me when things ended with CBE. And that most certainly has not changed in the slightest, but now that it seems to be prevalent in everything Doctor Boy does, I realize a) he’s most definitely more than “just” potential, he’s the real deal…and b) it scares me a little that someone could “dig me” so much already. And it scares me because this is a whole new world for me, one that I haven’t yet encountered, and it’s brand new unchartered territory that I can take control of…and maybe that’s the part that scares me a little.
I feel like I have control of where this goes. And I don’t say that in a “he’s wrapped around my little finger” way, but I just say it in that I know exactly where he stands, how he feels and where he wants things to go, and I’ve never had that much clarity in anyone I’ve met since my marriage ended.
And I dig that.
Like whoa.
He’s got the whole package for me right now, and I never thought I would find that quite so soon (odd to say “soon” since it’s been almost two years on this quest for love) but I am embracing the “scared”, because it is a healthy, happy, and excited emotion, not a scary one, it just means I am out of my (new) comfort zone.
Change.
Moving away from “just” me towards something potentially grander. It’s exciting, it’s what I want, and it’s what I am ready for.
But it’s still change.
And I find myself processing that change almost as often as I float across cloud 9, with every email, text, or BBM from him that includes something sweet, something thoughtful, or just about anything from him, because I am not used to having someone around that cares for me.
It’s the dig factor, like whoa.
And I dig it. (even if it’s scary).
(and yes, I know this post probably sounds uber rambly, but this is my stream of conscious way of blogging out what’s all jumbled in my brain.)
September 21, 2010 at 6:36 pm
You Go Girl!
September 21, 2010 at 7:12 pm
thanks friend π
September 21, 2010 at 6:45 pm
I totally understand where you’re coming from. I had that with CBG when we first met. Enjoy this! You’ve earned it. π π π
September 21, 2010 at 7:12 pm
Aw, thank you Sunshine!! I really do love it – hope that comes across here, moreso than fear of change and NEW! π
September 21, 2010 at 7:04 pm
This is exactly what you’ve been wanting and waiting for and totally deserve!
September 21, 2010 at 7:12 pm
thank you – you are so right – it IS. I am embracing it, even if a smidge scary π
September 21, 2010 at 7:36 pm
scary. oh yes; been there. wrote about scary tonight, actually. but isn’t it grand when you end up with someone who can meet scary head-on and deal with it? sounds AMAZING. π
September 22, 2010 at 7:48 am
uh, what you said – exactly! Scarily amazing π
September 21, 2010 at 8:00 pm
I totally sense what you mean sis – it’s change. It’s a good – wait, a damn AWESOME change – but still, its change. You’re very independent now – something you were not when you were married (and yes, you can still be independent when married, but you know what I mean). It’s like learning to be part of a duo again – it takes time and adjusting to eachother’s ebbs and flows. But it’s all GOOD stuff, GOOD changes and I’m so freakin’ excited for you sis!
September 22, 2010 at 7:48 am
YES it is learning to be part of a duo again, even though we aren’t officially anything quite yet. It’s someone else to consider and that’s a huge new routine/habit thing for me. Funny how it was so ingrained in me before.
September 21, 2010 at 8:13 pm
It’s awesome. I had this with The FiancΓ© (have it). We had it when we first met in 9th grade and we had it again when we got back together in Feb.2009. It’s such a great emotion–the scared, exhilarated feeling. I love it…enjoy it. It’s your turn!
September 22, 2010 at 7:49 am
Aw! I didn’t know that about you and your fiance – that’s so cute! It is exhilarating even if scary π
September 21, 2010 at 8:16 pm
This is going to seem like the weirdest and most unsupportive thing to say, but I am so scared for you. I mean, I’m thrilled, happy, beyond excited about all of this, but at the same time, so very scared. And I think you’ll understand when I say that because I think you know the feeling. I’m crossing my fingers for you and really, really, hoping this is the big love you have been looking for.
Out of curiosity, does he know about your blog yet?
September 22, 2010 at 7:50 am
AWW – YES I know what you mean, and that was such a touching comment. You are amazing and awesome and fun all wrapped into one, so glad to have met you π And yes, he does know about the blog but respects the privacy not to read it (and so far, I trust him).
September 21, 2010 at 8:18 pm
Of course you know that I TOTALLY get this. Dig factor is scary! Especially when you BOTH have it! It’s like going down a hill on a rollercoaster… WOW!
Enjoy the ride. Put your hands up and yell! π
September 22, 2010 at 7:50 am
KNEW you’d know what I mean, judging from some of your recent posts, especially. I love the dig factor when it’s mutual. It’s freeing. *hands in the air yelling* π
September 22, 2010 at 3:09 am
“I’ll have what she’s having.”
September 22, 2010 at 7:51 am
LOL – that make me chuckle – you WILL have some, I know it, it may time time, but you’ll get it and you deserve it friend!
September 22, 2010 at 7:43 am
Okay, hold on. This is one wild ride. And at the same time…let go! Live! You deserve this. It’s about stinking time that someone else recognizes that you are as amazing as the rest of blogville already know.
Big hugs!
September 22, 2010 at 7:51 am
Aww you are the sweetest…thank you!! It IS about stinking time…I love it. XO!!
September 22, 2010 at 7:45 am
It sounds like happiness!
September 22, 2010 at 7:52 am
for sure π *cloud9*
September 22, 2010 at 1:12 pm
Heβs got the whole package…
Now you’re bragging about your boyfriend’s package? Sheesh!
(Sorry, but juvenile double-entendre comments are all I can think of while you continue to be all puppies and rainbows about your uber-swoony groovy new boyfriend.)
And I agree with rondamarie: it sounds wonderful and terrifying at the same time.
September 22, 2010 at 2:02 pm
LOL – Snark, you kill me. Love the juvenile double entendres! Bring it on! Uber-swoony groovy – sort of rhymes, no? π and it’s wonderfully terrifying…like whoa.
September 22, 2010 at 3:15 pm
[…] – this is my state of mind today, despite a relatively ho-hum day. Why? Because I am seeing Doctor Boy tonight…my turn to test my chops at making dinner, wish me […]
September 22, 2010 at 4:54 pm
Woo! π Happy for you.
September 22, 2010 at 4:54 pm
thank you π
September 22, 2010 at 5:00 pm
Go you! It’s interesting for me to see, because I didn’t know you when you were married. But there’s nothing better than seeing the people you love happy, and excited for life. it’s so great and I am excited for you!
I loved hearing how you just knew things were how they were supposed to be. I believe it means so much when things just work out and feel right, like the universe or angels, or whatever you believe in, plays a part in bringing you happiness.
September 23, 2010 at 8:28 am
aww, thank you friend! you’re right, you actually have a really interesting perspective, from the outside looking in, since me now is all you have known. But yes, I love when it feels right…it has been a long road towards it, but it definitely does!
October 16, 2010 at 2:30 pm
You weren’t rambling. You’re just crushing — hard! Blog away and keep enjoying Cloud 9 :)!
October 16, 2010 at 2:38 pm
I sure will! It’s my blog, right?! π