Okay, I’m a dork after penning that blog title, but it’s been a craptastic Monday (just a frustrating workday, nothing major, don’t worry!) so I’m feeling a little slaphappy today. As I canceled my chemistry.com account this morning (wow, 3 months flies, huh?) I thought I’d do a little compare and contrast between the three sites I have tried in the past (almost) year – match.com, OK Cupid, and chemistry.com.
As I reflect on my online dating experience, overall, in the last year, I go back to something Andrea Syrtash noted in my blog interview a week ago – itβs very normal and natural today to *meet online.Β Technology has changed the way we do everything, including how we make connections – it’s been a really good experience for me for the most part, in getting back into the dating game (let’s face it, I never WAS in the dating game before I got together with my ex 10 years ago!), learning some big must-haves, learning from experiences and maybe a do-over or two, and also frustrating, of course, knowing that I’ve gone a full year of this and still haven’t met anyone that I’ve clicked well enough with to sustain something longer term (but oh yes, back to that idea of releasing!) but, bottom line, I’ve actually really enjoyed it. I also plan to revisit and update my “man audit”Β from January in a couple of weeks (that should be fun. heh.)
So, here goes – my “review” of chemistry.com, OK Cupid and match.com.
match.com:
The good:
- I’d venture to say that I had the most luck and success with this site. It was easier to find matches that were relatively vetted by what was in their profiles, and I met a few pretty good ones here (diamond boy, brainy blonde, to name a couple of memorable ones – refer to man audit above for descriptions!)
- I liked the ability to search for whomever I wanted, and do reserve searches (matches that met my criteria in my profile).
- I liked seeing who saw my profile (unlike chemistry, it was hard to tell if anyone actually looked at mine back or read anything I sent etc) because if they didn’t respond to whatever I sent them, I could basically assume they weren’t interested, which, while frustrating not to get a response, was still helpful.
The bad:
- Search overload! While I note above that I like being able to search for whomever I want – it also made it a lot more time-intensive, which can also be conversely frustrating.
- Winks. Stupid. Just email if you’re interested. Winks should be outlawed.
Bottom line: I feel as though Match.com is a great middle of the road dating site – not overly expensive, and I felt as though the guys on the site were more often than not likely serious enough (since they were paying) into the whole dating thang. I’d consider it again at some point.
OK Cupid:
The good:
- It’s free. Yes, sometimes having a free site handy is a good thing. (hello budget!)
- I liked the funky profile questions and settings and feel as though you can somewhat tell who’s serious and who’s not (the ones who note that they are looking for casual encounters – um, pass.)
- I had one handful-of-dates success with the Russian (lol still can’t believe I went out with him though, just given his name was IGOR – yes IGOR…) – again , refer to aforementioned man audit!
- Also met Southern Boy on OKC, but this could go under good or bad given he’s fallen off the face of the earth. Meh.
The bad:
- I got a ton of super young guys hitting on me – like wtf? I don’t really understand why that kept happening, but I digress.
- I also got a lot of creepers – way WAY older (think 50s!) and NOT from around here. Weird much?
- The knew-it-was-not-gonna-work in the first 10 seconds date. Yeesh.
- Winks. BE GONE! Seriously.
Bottom line: I’m still on this one, but don’t do a heck of a lot with it. Since it’s free, I DO feel as though there are more guys on there that aren’t into anything serious, or ARE looking for one-night stand types.
Chemistry.com:
The good:
- Getting matches sent to me was good since I was on this site when I was more busy and had less time to search.
- I liked seeing who met my criteria and in what ways, and to find out what my “personality” was (a builder).
- I met CBE here – the closest to a relationship I’ve come. Was a good coupla months till he went all “The Secret” weird on me.
The bad:
- The matches were SERIOUSLY dissapointing. A handful of potentials that I never heard from. Doubly frustrating.
- No way to know if they were interested or not – it’s not like match.com where you get a notification if they aren’t interested (if you wink, I think) or if they even viewed your profile. Felt like a black hole.
- NO control over what matches you get – again, good and bad, I guess, but in this case, mostly bad.
- Not getting that many matches each day. One day, 3, another 6, another 1. WTF?
- SO many guys didn’t post pics unless you “requested” it – and then never posted them – another WTF? I mean, I’m not a DOG, seriously dudes, post your pic when I ask, or FAIL.
Bottom line: Will NOT use this site again. SO underimpressed and the most expensive (double what match.com costs for three months – MEH!)
So, there you have it – hope you got a laugh out of reading, and maybe you can even relate, if you’ve been on these sites before. I won’t rule out continuing some kind of online dating thing in the future, but for now, I think I’m good with it…and we’ll see what happens. Trying. To. Release.
July 12, 2010 at 6:58 pm
I agree on all counts. I’ve been on all 3 sites at one time or another and have the exact same complaints about them.
July 12, 2010 at 7:19 pm
I thought you might agree π
July 12, 2010 at 7:01 pm
IGOR!!! HAAAAA…!!!
Made. My. Day.
I get a lot of creepers on OKStupid too. I had a man with boobs email me some comments about our obviously different ideas on sex. That was fun. NOT! But, I did meet Mike, sexy, sexy, pervy, Mike. He was good for… oh, the 2 minutes I spent looking at the naked professional photo he randomly sent me. I saved it on my phone, and then I showed my girlfriend when she was having a bad day. Ha.
Regardless, the one thing I like about OKC is the questions- you can really get a good idea of someone’s intentions and morals etc. by looking at their answers. In a lot of ways I think their matching system is better than those other expensive sites like eHarmony.
Plenty of Fish is the other site I use… man, is that a joke or what. I get tonnes of messages but they’re either new to Cananda and can’t type a legible sentence, are in their early 20’s, or are old. Slim pickins.
July 12, 2010 at 7:19 pm
Har-har, glad you like the Igor reference π Pervy Mike – ah, I have not yet had the pleasure of true pervs…all you, my friend! LOL! And PoF – seems like a PO crap huh? Wow, I’m slaphappy.
July 12, 2010 at 7:07 pm
I tried OKCupid back in the day. Met one guy who turned out to be a good friend for a short period of time when I really needed one.
Have you tried plenty of fish? Might give you lots more good blog fodder!! π
July 12, 2010 at 7:20 pm
Ha! I MAY have to try POF just for the sheer humor it appears to provide π
July 12, 2010 at 7:38 pm
I loved your write-up! I’ve been on all 3 and eHarmony and POF; and to be honest I don’t get it. I had good luck with Chemistry but felt your same frustrations. And now I’m on none. But I’ve had luck in other venues. *wink*wink*
Just keep swimming or trucking or whatever your thang is!
Hugs!
July 12, 2010 at 7:44 pm
ha, thanks my dear, glad you liked it! And wink, wink, can I have that kind of luck in other venues? please!? π
July 12, 2010 at 7:42 pm
I have to say, this was hysterical to read because I could totally hear you saying all of these things to me in one rant or another. LOL. My favorite? How CBE turned all “The Secret” weird on you. π I’m not trying to poke fun, just think you are hilarious in and of itself annnnd you know how to laugh at your dating experiences versus getting too serious about it all the time too. π (And PS. You hear that Universe? She’s got a sense of humor AND she’s a hottie too, I *know* you wanna date her now!)
July 12, 2010 at 7:45 pm
Ha, thought you’d that the post sis, and I guess I didn’t realize how funny that part (re: Secret) was till you mentioned it…I don’t re-read my posts that much, thus why I didn’t giggle till you just made me laugh! haha.
July 12, 2010 at 11:52 pm
A craptastic Monday? LOL! That cracked me up. I have tried all those sites too, plus eHarmony and POF. Yeah. Well, the only one I would continue to do is Match. I purchased a 3-month subscription to Match in May and voila, by the end of June, I was in a relationship. Not with anyone I met on Match, but from someone from (get this) Zoosk, which is a Facebook app or affiliate. I was on it for two weeks and met two people way back in December. My current beau was one of them. Long story for another time and place. You should check Zoosk out just for grins and giggles. It is not free anymore and I don’t think it is very user friendly but it does have the ice-breakers and, yuk, the winks too.
July 13, 2010 at 6:51 am
Ha, glad you like my made up word – craptastic, it’s pretty great, right? And you give me hope that what I hope happens will…meeting someone you just stumble on. That’s awesome, so glad for you!
July 13, 2010 at 6:39 am
Wow. I’m so glad that I stopped after Match. Okay, I should have also stopped BEFORE Craigslist. (Also free…)
You are gorgeous! You will find someone IRL. Just watch…
July 13, 2010 at 6:51 am
Aw shucks Nicki, you are sweet, as always (sorry I missed your call last night! I was testing Skype on my Mac again finally, and it up and quit on me)…and eek, craigslist, yeah, I don’t think I’ll be trying that! π
July 13, 2010 at 7:23 am
Love this review!!
I was on match, OKCupid (which I hated), eharmony and Yahoo personals. Didn’t have success with any of them but met some interesting people through eharmony and yahoo.
This is good stuff! Thank you for writing this out.
July 13, 2010 at 8:25 am
Glad you liked it T! It was fun to write π
July 13, 2010 at 8:54 am
There is hope. My wife and I meet many years ago (long before this internet stuff) through a classified paper. We actually had to write letters. I know for many that is a novel concept. Just hang in there!
July 13, 2010 at 9:24 am
That’s awesome – great story! Ah letter writing…there IS a novelty!
July 13, 2010 at 10:53 am
they’re all the same!! it’s like Websters vs. Merriam dictionaries – different versions of the exact same thing.
July 13, 2010 at 10:55 am
ha – in a sense, you are exactly right! Depends on what “flavor” you like I suppose too…and what cost π
July 13, 2010 at 12:42 pm
When writing a letter it gives time to comptemplate your thoughts.
July 13, 2010 at 1:35 pm
Oh my gosh, I LOVED reading this! I just signed up for Match (for the 2nd time). π I am Ms. Picky Pants, but I have talked to a couple of guys and find it’s pretty easy to navigate. I get SO many creepers, too! I have checked my age to make sure it doesn’t say 50 or something, just in case. And, nope! π
And I totally have nicknames for guys I date, too. Half of the fun is coming up with them! (Wondering what mine would be….)
July 13, 2010 at 1:38 pm
Aw, thanks for visiting (I know you are a frequent visitor on my sister’s blog! yay!) – and so glad you loved reading! It was fun to write, I must say. And the names are fun to make up, aren’t they? Creepers I guess are everywhere, and they don’t discriminate on age do they? π Good luck on the second go round with match.com!)
July 13, 2010 at 2:03 pm
POF is like being at the bar with a bunch of drunk ass men hitting on you. I HATED IT!! So yes, for the pure comical value, join. π In all seriousness though, there are a few decent men on there – some that are really looking for something more than getting a piece of tail. Not many, just a few.
Hated Yahoo, was Meh about Match and LOVED LOVED LOVED eHarmony. I would do that one again, but it took some patience. Which I kind of sucked at. Anyway, I think that out of all of the dating websites, it was eHarmony that had the most … I dunno, serious type of people on there. I dug that. π
I wish you much success my friend.
July 13, 2010 at 2:28 pm
Thank you QT! I was so disappointed in chemistry that I don’t know about eHarmony – so similar, and I tried eHarmony for a “free weekend” and it’s exactly like chemistry, so I may pass. Sort of trying to release anyway…right?! π
July 26, 2010 at 6:37 pm
[…] totally out of my comfort zone, and he was challenging. We dated for a few months until he went all “The Secret” on me weird, as I noted before. I’m glad I ended things, but I do […]
September 27, 2010 at 10:35 pm
[…] and I just can’t see myself doing the online thing. (For the lowdown on dating through Chemistry, OK Cupid and match.com, check out Jolene’s post … if I ever do venture near the online thing, I’m hoping […]